Solidarity

Every year in the IHo Chuan has meant different things to me, given me different insights and different tools when it comes to my own training. This year has been no different. This past year has given me the strength to change my priorities even when those changes have led to hardships, but also lead to new opportunities and have empowered me to come a step closer to the person I want to be. Doors have been opened for me that I had never dreamt possible, never even knew existed. I've had the rare and unique chance to train with some of the most inspirational, motivational people out there, to watch others as they grow and strive for mastery. Even beyond my own marginal growth, the growth of those around me has given me the drive to continue my own journey when I was beginning to succumb to mediocrity once again.

This year I had set out with the goal to focus on my own training and growth, and focus less on other peoples journeys. But I've come to realize that although that may work for others, it does not work for me. I'm not the kind of person that is self driven, self motivational. Being a black belt does require one to become more independent in their training. In this aspect I've failed. But in that failing I've started to reflect on my successes, and my success has always come when I've become involved in anothers journey. Not so much that I'm such a help to them, but I gain motivation in my own training when I watch another.

So what have I learned? Believe it or not, for all my solitary beliefs I'm a social creature. I want to continue to surround myself with people like you. Its not so much the program that provides the tools, it is more that the program provides the people that give me motivation and inspiration to utilize the tools I already possess. I've learned the strength of solidarity.

Shout Out

So I sit here, keyboard on my lap, trying to think of what this year's I Ho Chuan has taught me. But my brain is wandering, and I find myself thinking instead of several Kwoon Talk posts over the last couple weeks.

Mr. Smid, you're an inspiration to me. I haven't a clue who you are, how long you've been part of the family or what you look like (besides the tiny google groups picture) but I find myself pondering your posts. If only I had been in the mindset you are in when I was a white belt, oh the places I'd go. Who am I kidding, if only I was in that mindset now! Twenty years later, and I find myself reminded that anyone can learn from anyone. Encouragement can creep up on you anytime, anywhere. Dude, you should be on the Horse Team. You could be the catalyst for that team, if you so choose to be.

Nonsensical Fears

I'll admit, I have mixed feelings about my I Ho Chuan year. It's been so different from last year, the highs have been higher and the lows lower. I've got to know many of you who I wouldn't have otherwise, and that is a definite blessing. Very different from previous years, but such is evolution.

I'm at my most content at the kwoon. I still have issues with performing around others, including practicing in classes. When Sifu Robinson and I are working on our piece I'm constantly aware of everyone else in the room and their reactions. I fear both having everyone stop and watch, in case I'm not up par and I fear when no one watches, maybe we're boring and predictable. It was a shock when Ms. Csillag mentioned we had inspired her. Thank you, it's good to hear.

One thing I have finally figured out- people notice and become inspired not when you're trying to be inspirational, but when you're not. When you're just doing your thing, that's when we're at our best. When you're just concerned with putting the puzzle together, taking one step at a time, getting something done. I still receive positive feedback over my role in last years team. I sure didn't realize what I was doing at the time.