Torn

Well, we made it camping. My pace has definitely changed, and I'm okay with that. My acts of kindness have narrowed to coffee for Nick, breakfast for Nick, drink for Nick... that'll change tomorrow when the rest of our friends make it here.

Which leads me to Pandamonium. For the first time I feel like I may not make it. I've always left here on the Friday before, spent Saturday at the Pandamonium and then returned to everyone Sunday. In doing so I've missed most of our friends every year. I'm torn between one group and the other. I feel like I need to stay up here for once...

Guess we'll see.

Camping

I'm struggling with what to write today. We'll be leaving for our two week camping trip early next week so I'll be missing IHC classes during that time, although I plan on making the trip back for the Pandamonium. We only get to go camping once a year so it's a pretty important event for us- the rest of the year is pretty much the same thing, work at work or at home, we don't spend long weekends away very often. When we (or I) do, there's always a pang of guilt that goes along with it. If I'm gone, that means someone else has to take on my responsibilities, fill in for my absence. I very much dislike doing that to people. But I am very grateful to those people who make it possible for me. Poppyseed chiffon cake all around, if you want.

I'll be sure to pack my spear along with me, and I'll be thinking of you all while I'm off in the wilderness. The kwoon is never far from my thoughts, it's so ingrained in me it would be like forgetting about home.

The above photo was taken during our drive home from last years trip. Posted strictly for your amusement. Enjoy!

A Note from a Student

As both an instructor and as a perpetual student, I feel I have the best of both worlds. I can see both sides of the story and therefore receive a benefit that many don't. I learn so much when I teach, and I can better understand where my own instructors are coming from when things are vague for me.

These are a few things I keep in front of me as a student, and hope my students keep in front of them as an instructor.

If you want to know what you need to work on for your next stripe or next belt I say you already know. The corrections you receive in class, the things we work on and the material we cover every day is for you. Trust that your instructor is giving you what you need, that you will benefit and that they work hard every day to ensure you are progressing along the right path.

Ignore what the stripes are saying- they are tools only, they do not encompass what it means to be a black or blue or yellow belt. Nothing written on paper will get you to yellow or black- it is what you do with the knowledge, how you apply what you know and how you connect the dots. Trust that you're instructor is teaching you kung fu, true kung fu, not just a set of applications because they are written out.

Trust that even if those pieces of paper change appearance the lessons have not. If the syllabus is reworked that does not mean your instructors have changed kung fu- it's over 2000 years old, we cannot assume to know better that 2000 years of knowledge passed down before us. They are the same things you are learning, the presentation has changed. The frosting is a different colour but it's still a cake underneath. What you are being taught, the core concepts of kung fu, are ever present.

Come to class. Seeing progress is difficult if you are not where you need to be to gain competence in whatever you want to achieve. If you do not see progress then you can become disheartened and unmotivated. If you are unmotivated it is hard for an instructor to show you your progress. We see you for approximately two hours a week. If you miss classes, that time is cut even shorter. What in your life can you learn, grow and gain competence in with less than an hour a week dedicated to it?

If you are not where you feel you should be for your level, change what you are doing and fix it. Hiding weakness does not eliminate the weakness. Ignoring it will not fix it. The only way, not just the best but the only way, is to acknowledge your shortcomings and then work to eradicate them. We all have areas we can be better at. Those who do become better are those who do not hide their shortcomings but who throw them out for the world to see.

The only way to get over your fears is to realize there is nothing to be afraid of. No one can convince you of this, you won't learn there is nothing to fear without experiencing it for yourself. Baby steps are fine as long as they one day turn into something more. Confidence is key. You cannot be confident in something you have never tried.

Don't be afraid to try. Don't be afraid to fail. Don't be afraid to throw a terrible kick. No one is expecting you to be perfect the first time, even the hundredth time. However, the only way to become better is to do. No one is there to judge you- every person who has ever learned a martial art started with no knowledge, no skill. We've failed hundreds of times. We fail to this day. Perseverance is the difference.