I've been stuck as to what to write about. I didn't want to constantly be writing about my growing belly, the poppyseeds, lemons, turnips or whatever my app relates them to. But then I though you know what? This is was is going on in my life right now and it has to be part of the process.
I've never had to think about and change the way I'm training or teaching quite like I am at the moment. Injuries create opportunity and induce changes for sure, but they also give you feedback so I was never too concerned about pushing too hard in a day since tomorrow I can rein it in if needed. Worst case, I set myself back but continue on. Now, every decision I make I have to think hard as to if it's the right decision because I am paranoid of making the wrong one. I've never been so conservative in my health as I am now, so concerned about a little cough or a little exertion. I warned everyone in my life that I would be a paranoid pregnant lady, but I hadn't expected the difficulty when making decisions. I'm torn as to what I should do. My priorities are shifting and it makes me feel guilty. Maybe guilt is the wrong word- I'm very aware of the shift, don't like how it's affecting others but it's my new reality nonetheless.
It's starting to hit home for me. When I heard their heartbeats, I can't tell you what went through my mind. I was hearing a heartbeat from inside my body that wasn't mine. It wasn't me, and it's not me I'm feeling whenever I get that rippling sensation. My abdomen has turned into someone else's swimming pool. The feeling of responsibility is overwhelming.
