Distractions

I've been noticing that most of my animals have become overly needy this last month. I think they're aware that their peaceful lives are going to be turned upside down.

Quick update- I'm officially in my third trimester. I officially can't see my toes unless I lean way forward. I'm officially carrying a boy and a girl. Well, eighty percent sure it's a girl. And I feel like I have an abdomen full of jumping frogs. Which can be distracting when I'm trying to teach, so my apologies for being distracted and my inability to string a coherent sentence together sometimes.

So this has been my life lately. Setting up cribs, sorting clothes, wondering what is the difference in diaper brands. No wonder my dogs and cats are getting edgy.

Oh, I've also received my new toy in the mail- a short sword, straight, single edge. I imagine it has a fancy name but I don't know what it is. Elvira it is. I've been having fun playing with it, although I've had to adjust what little I have of a form.

Creativity & Ego

A few days ago I watched a program about a Buddhist nun who also happens to be a world class chef. No training, no restaurant, just straight, simple, from the earth. Something she said struck a cord with me.

Creativity and ego cannot go together. If you free yourself from the comparing and jealous mind your creativity opens up endlessly.

I think Stewart Emery would concur.

It's hard to admit but I think I figured out my hitch when it comes to creating my own from. I always considered myself a creative kid growing up, so why the difference now? Because now I'm more concerned with what others will think, having my thoughts and creation on the block, my ideas up for judgement. If it's someone else's form I'm presenting then at least it's not on me as to the structure and sequence. I'm too concerned about having my ego bruised than about creating something thats my own.

I've never felt that I'm up to the task. Problem is, I never will be unless I try and I put myself out there. That's a scary thought. And I guess I know where I need to go from here.

My Requirements

I’m currently sitting in a lab waiting the mandatory hour after drinking a horrendous orange liquid. Half of you will know what I’m talking about. While I did bring a book to read I also know I have a chance to blog so I’ll take it.

Most of my personal goals look fairly different this year as compared to previous years. One of them is spending time with my dogs once these pups are here. I know my priorities will change and I don’t want to forget things that are important to me now, including my animals. Another, an obvious one, is to knock off the weight I’ll gain. That task alone is already looking daunting. Apparently everything doubles with twins, including weight gain. Tai chi is still on the list, along with my ukelele.

I can tell you these babies didn’t like that drink either. They’re pounding my insides like a bongo drum.

I’m struggling with my weapons form. I let Sifu Brinker talk me into creating my own, something I’ve never enjoyed nor been successful at. I am adapting from a video but currently my weapon consists of a scrap oak stick- my sword is miles too heavy and the one on order has yet to arrive. If I had been thinking I would have taken care of this before the start of the year but as those around me can attest, thinking isn’t my strong suit at the moment.