I’ll be honest, at the moment my training is not the priority. It is a priority, but other priorities have knocked it down on the list. My lack of numbers and blogs can attest to that.
So where am I? I want to let you all know so that no one thinks I’ve quit. I’m currently in the middle of sleep training Sydney. Once she’s handled I’ll have my hands full with training Carter. I won’t bore you with details, but sufficed to say that a series of unfortunate events and poor choices has led us to where we are and all I can do is handle it before things get worse. So, I bit the bullet and here we are.
Of course, this does not account for the lack of accountability prior to the training. That’s just on me. Some of my requirements are on track, mostly my personal ones, where the rest are very much not. I’ve written this before; when I stop to analyze where I am I can see that the requirements that I’m doing okay at are the ones I’ve set for others. I’m moving ahead with reducing plastic & waste in my home. I’m (slowly) planning how to get recycling into my community. I’ve buckled down and made appointments for myself- I have a dentist appointment next week, actually.
I see that last one not so much for me, but my kids. I want them to value themselves, and therefore I have to set the example. I remember once Sifu Brinker, in reference to kids, saying to me that first you have to get them to do it for you. Then you get them to do it for themselves. Makes so much sense. So why do I not take care of myself unless I have to?
It’s hard to shake that mentality, that time for me is wasteful, or worse yet, selfish. Logically I know this to be wrong. And yet that is exactly where my brain goes when I think about calling for that chiropractor appointment, allergist appointment, dentist appointment. I need to look at it at a different angle, change my perspective, but I’m not sure how to smarten myself up.
May we all close the gap between what we believe and how we act in the world.
-Timber Hawkeye
