I did record my acts of kindness for the first couple months, but I admit that I've fallen off the wagon recently. Big thank you to Sifu Playter for this challenge.
My acts of kindness for the last couple days:
-let a couple cars in at a construction zone
-held the door (about a half dozen times)
-let a lady in front of me at the grocery store
-offered to let a gentleman in front of me, but he declined (with a smile)
-cooked my ma the most amazing supper (not humble at all)
-gave my mom a jasmine bush & fudge (thanks Sihing Donohue) for "Christmas" (I was informed I was not allowed to buy her anything for mothers day)
-bought my neighbor a couple beers
-made the time to play with my puppies
-gave my husband a compliment
Looking for opportunities today!
Monday, May 13, 2013
Friday, May 10, 2013
Perpetual Struggle
I'm falling back into my old routine of dropping my stuff for everything else. Its so easy to put aside my own training because so-and-so is depending on me to do such-and-such. Its very short sighted of me, and I can only imagine where I'd be if I had just kept my focus constant for these past couple decades. Decades! Geez, I'm aging myself.
I poked Sihing Langner and Sifu Robinson last night about bringing out their new weapons. But what about my spade? It was sitting at home in my breezeway. Sheesh. Hypocrite. When I hear "I can't do this!" my heart flairs and I respond "Of course you can!". But I tell myself the same thing repeatedly. I've given up of many things because of this- as soon as it gets hard and I don't see myself getting better I throw up my hands and say its not for me. Hockey, softball, guitar, snowboarding, dance, learning sign language, archery. Makes me wonder how I've managed to stick with kung fu so long. Oh, I know- my mom used to drag me by the ear when I'd complain that I didn't want to go. Thankfully, I caught the bug one day. But I never gave myself a chance to catch the bug with anything else... downer. Even now, I get disheartened when I can't pick up something as quick as I think I should. Footwork, vectors, close combat, dragon- these are all concepts I continually struggle with, and I feel I'm not as good as I should be, considering how many years I've been training, how many times its been explained, how old I am.
Then, I get a compliment- the height of my kicks or how I move. I politely say thank you, but I'm secretly wondering what the heck are these people on? I watch myself in the mirror, and I see how high I am in my stances. I see how much I sway when I move, I see the sloppiness in my hands. But, then I notice how high my kicks really are, and how I still feel strong when I do them.
I'm thankful for inheriting my fathers stubbornness. And my mothers passion. I think thats what keeps me going. I turn my back to the mirror and focus on doing better than last time instead of what I look like.
Side note- I had a teammate comment about how he was surprised after the last meeting, how he thought I had everything together and was full speed ahead. Nope. I struggle just like the rest of you. I know what I am and I know what I ain't, and I ain't always what you think I am. That was just fun to type, doesn't really mean much.
I poked Sihing Langner and Sifu Robinson last night about bringing out their new weapons. But what about my spade? It was sitting at home in my breezeway. Sheesh. Hypocrite. When I hear "I can't do this!" my heart flairs and I respond "Of course you can!". But I tell myself the same thing repeatedly. I've given up of many things because of this- as soon as it gets hard and I don't see myself getting better I throw up my hands and say its not for me. Hockey, softball, guitar, snowboarding, dance, learning sign language, archery. Makes me wonder how I've managed to stick with kung fu so long. Oh, I know- my mom used to drag me by the ear when I'd complain that I didn't want to go. Thankfully, I caught the bug one day. But I never gave myself a chance to catch the bug with anything else... downer. Even now, I get disheartened when I can't pick up something as quick as I think I should. Footwork, vectors, close combat, dragon- these are all concepts I continually struggle with, and I feel I'm not as good as I should be, considering how many years I've been training, how many times its been explained, how old I am.
Then, I get a compliment- the height of my kicks or how I move. I politely say thank you, but I'm secretly wondering what the heck are these people on? I watch myself in the mirror, and I see how high I am in my stances. I see how much I sway when I move, I see the sloppiness in my hands. But, then I notice how high my kicks really are, and how I still feel strong when I do them.
I'm thankful for inheriting my fathers stubbornness. And my mothers passion. I think thats what keeps me going. I turn my back to the mirror and focus on doing better than last time instead of what I look like.
Side note- I had a teammate comment about how he was surprised after the last meeting, how he thought I had everything together and was full speed ahead. Nope. I struggle just like the rest of you. I know what I am and I know what I ain't, and I ain't always what you think I am. That was just fun to type, doesn't really mean much.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Pandamonium? PandaAWESOME!
I am absolutely loving my kung fu family right now. I had such a good time on Saturday, the atmosphere was fun and friendly and passionate. I got my first taste of face painting- Sifu Brinker, you made my day. So many people just came up and started talking to me, and honestly I didn't know who half of them were. Parents of kids, random people who just stopped in to see what the fuss was about, reps from the charities. I can't name a single highlight, because there were so many. I had one kid break out in the biggest grin when he saw his painted reflection in my sunglasses- he was spiderman! Watching the yeti race for cookies with the kids, seeing the paramedics there, the puppies (puppies!), the weather.
The feedback I got on Saturday was great. Sifu Brinker, you've definitely made a name for yourself in that community. As I mentioned, I talked to quite a few strangers and the topic was usually the same- the positive impact that you've had on the community and its members, the amazing school you've built up over the years, how your passion is spreading like wildfire in the students. Someone even called you a white knight.
Even the small things that have come out of being a part of a team are huge. I've been introduced to music that I didn't know existed (and love!), learning the art of dramatic death (thanks Sihing Langner), air high fives where ever I go, movie plans, and oh, the fudge. I'm no longer afraid to be the nerd I am because I've discovered a group of nerds. I don't get embarrassed when my voice goes up an octave around puppies because I'm not the only one. I'm not worried about trying fancy flying maneuvers because I have someone to catch me when I fall (usually). Sihing Langner came to me and said hey, lets go practice outside, and I didn't even think twice about practicing in front of a group of people. That was a first for me.
I'm already excited for next year.
The feedback I got on Saturday was great. Sifu Brinker, you've definitely made a name for yourself in that community. As I mentioned, I talked to quite a few strangers and the topic was usually the same- the positive impact that you've had on the community and its members, the amazing school you've built up over the years, how your passion is spreading like wildfire in the students. Someone even called you a white knight.
Even the small things that have come out of being a part of a team are huge. I've been introduced to music that I didn't know existed (and love!), learning the art of dramatic death (thanks Sihing Langner), air high fives where ever I go, movie plans, and oh, the fudge. I'm no longer afraid to be the nerd I am because I've discovered a group of nerds. I don't get embarrassed when my voice goes up an octave around puppies because I'm not the only one. I'm not worried about trying fancy flying maneuvers because I have someone to catch me when I fall (usually). Sihing Langner came to me and said hey, lets go practice outside, and I didn't even think twice about practicing in front of a group of people. That was a first for me.
I'm already excited for next year.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Karma May Get Me Later...
The demo craze is back, and it feels good to have a common goal again. My own training didn't show the same progress in the beginning of the year as it did last year when we started the demo's, and I'm excited that we got an earlier start this year. Huge kudos to Ms. Gibbons for stepping our of her comfort zone and taking charge. You're doing a great job.
I notice that a few of the big weapons have yet to make a debut, including my own spade. That too is something I'm looking forward to, finally, FINALLY being comfortable enough to get my spade involved, and seeing the new kwan dao, three sectionals, broom, hooks.
A few of you are aware already, but I'm pushing myself out of my own comfort zone and trying an aerial move. As I've said before, I'm a ground person and never been strong with any aerial or flying techniques. I just feel weak and unsure when I lose that connection with the ground. And I prefer not to fight gravity... Wish me luck, and wish Sifu Robinson luck. Or at least a speedy recovery if something goes haywire.
I notice that a few of the big weapons have yet to make a debut, including my own spade. That too is something I'm looking forward to, finally, FINALLY being comfortable enough to get my spade involved, and seeing the new kwan dao, three sectionals, broom, hooks.
A few of you are aware already, but I'm pushing myself out of my own comfort zone and trying an aerial move. As I've said before, I'm a ground person and never been strong with any aerial or flying techniques. I just feel weak and unsure when I lose that connection with the ground. And I prefer not to fight gravity... Wish me luck, and wish Sifu Robinson luck. Or at least a speedy recovery if something goes haywire.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Gripe
I've been loading this page and closing this page all day. Its been one of those weeks, I guess.
Just to clarify from Saturday's meeting- yes, I will be kind to people I know, I just find it a bit unnerving for some reason when I get "caught". You see, my acts of kindness are not all opening doors and picking up dropped items; I make it a habit of always buying a coffee or lunch or breakfast for a stranger. Its just easier when I'm not identified- try to explain to a stranger that yes, I just bought you breakfast, no you don't know me, no I'm not hitting on you, no I'm not crazy. I pick a table, pay and run. That's my game.
As for my numbers- as always, I'm not as diligent as I should be. I have developed a habit of doing push ups and sit ups everyday, but I have also developed the habit of not completing them all everyday. Yeah, I know.
I miss being at the kwoon everyday, but this is a conflicting issue with me. I literally saw the candidates more than I saw my husband for a good while there. And while I was off fulfilling my kung fu dreams and schemes, my husband was working on our house by himself every night and my dog didn't get her walks. So now, I feel like I'm making that up at home- I have time on Tuesdays and Thursdays to help at home, and if we're not working on the house we're just spending time together. Its nice, but now I miss the kwoon. There is no happy medium here- no matter what, if I trim my trips to the studio back, I'm still gone to kung fu a minimum 3 nights a week. But then, I'm not fulfilling my goals and my commitment to the team. So now I plan on adding in Thursdays for demo practices and Saturdays for Tai Chi (as soon as my ma gets back home), and now I'm back up to 5 times a week where I'm leaving Nick to handle the reno's on his own. Sigh.
Just to clarify from Saturday's meeting- yes, I will be kind to people I know, I just find it a bit unnerving for some reason when I get "caught". You see, my acts of kindness are not all opening doors and picking up dropped items; I make it a habit of always buying a coffee or lunch or breakfast for a stranger. Its just easier when I'm not identified- try to explain to a stranger that yes, I just bought you breakfast, no you don't know me, no I'm not hitting on you, no I'm not crazy. I pick a table, pay and run. That's my game.
As for my numbers- as always, I'm not as diligent as I should be. I have developed a habit of doing push ups and sit ups everyday, but I have also developed the habit of not completing them all everyday. Yeah, I know.
I miss being at the kwoon everyday, but this is a conflicting issue with me. I literally saw the candidates more than I saw my husband for a good while there. And while I was off fulfilling my kung fu dreams and schemes, my husband was working on our house by himself every night and my dog didn't get her walks. So now, I feel like I'm making that up at home- I have time on Tuesdays and Thursdays to help at home, and if we're not working on the house we're just spending time together. Its nice, but now I miss the kwoon. There is no happy medium here- no matter what, if I trim my trips to the studio back, I'm still gone to kung fu a minimum 3 nights a week. But then, I'm not fulfilling my goals and my commitment to the team. So now I plan on adding in Thursdays for demo practices and Saturdays for Tai Chi (as soon as my ma gets back home), and now I'm back up to 5 times a week where I'm leaving Nick to handle the reno's on his own. Sigh.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
I Love Cadbury Anything, Actually
Update on my requirements- as always, I'm ahead on a few things and behind on most. Again, my downfall is lack of consistent tracking. I have a journal I carry around with me, but writing in it every day to record acts of kindness is not happening, I usually write it down every few days and remembering a coffee I bought for someone three days prior is hard. And for my own coffee, I'm not completely successful in my goal of one a day. Most days I'm disciplined and only have one, but there are days that I'll have two (yesterday) and other days (usually Sundays) where I have three. But, overall my coffee consumption has lessened drastically. Very drastically. I don't drink it as my only liquid anymore, and I always have water with me. So thats good, right? Oh, and no chocolate or candy thus far in the month of April. Even though my mom bought me Cadbury Cream eggs. I love those things.
Spade is getting back to where it should be. Cane never left. My mom and I are back in Tai Chi starting this Saturday (looking forward to that). Sparring- eek. Never been my fortay, and its been getting put on the back burner in exchange for my forms. Yep. That happens. I'll work on that.
Spade is getting back to where it should be. Cane never left. My mom and I are back in Tai Chi starting this Saturday (looking forward to that). Sparring- eek. Never been my fortay, and its been getting put on the back burner in exchange for my forms. Yep. That happens. I'll work on that.
Monday, April 1, 2013
Back in Black
I'm home! Will admit that I slacked while on vacation- did get plenty of miles in though. Geez, I can't believe how much I miss all of you and miss being at the kwoon. Its my home now, and although seeing my dogs and husband filled part of the gap, I'm still feeling a bit of a hole where all of you fit in!
It really doesn't take long to fall behind. Although I went through the motions a couple times in Mexico, I tried to swing my spade around this weekend and it didn't go well. So you can bet on seeing me there, just trying to get back to where I should be.
Regardless, I'm glad I took the time off. It was just my mom and I, with no men around, and we had a great time. Even though we both came home to full litter boxes, I'm glad we did it.
It really doesn't take long to fall behind. Although I went through the motions a couple times in Mexico, I tried to swing my spade around this weekend and it didn't go well. So you can bet on seeing me there, just trying to get back to where I should be.
Regardless, I'm glad I took the time off. It was just my mom and I, with no men around, and we had a great time. Even though we both came home to full litter boxes, I'm glad we did it.
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