Sincerity

Many things in life seem out of your control and sometimes can become overwhelming. It happens to everyone, and no matter how rough you think you have it or how busy you think you are it all still boils down to you and what you do with it all. The one thing I have found that makes the difference is sincerity.

It was mentioned Friday about trying to walk that fine line between reaching out for teammates and harassing the missing individuals. I firmly believe the difference between the two is sincerity. If you truly believe in the system and the importance of having a whole and healthy team, reaching out to missing team members should be a natural and logical act. If you believe in the difference one individual can make then when you reach out to them you should be able to find the vocabulary needed and the passion that can inspire.

This concept works across the board. You need to be sincere in your reasons for joining the IHC, for trying to advance your skill and for striving for the rank of black. If you are concerned with the belt or the recognition or the glory then you're on the wrong path, and as harsh as this sounds, you are not cut out for the rank. If you are striving to prove to those around you that you are better then you're missing the point and you will always be limited in body and mind. If you understand that the rank represents more than the time spent training or the level of physical skill you've acquired, you'll understand why so few people make the rank. And you'll understand that the standards set for the rank are more than hoops or a yard stick. The character of the individual is more important than the physical skill or the time put in. If you sincerely want to better yourself and the world around you then you have what it takes. And yes, that is what is expected. And that is what mastery is about.

The I Ho Chuan is just a program designed to spell things out for you. The requirements are not new, not unreasonable. Its all just been put down on paper to make the process easier for up and coming people. Yes, easier. It embodies what it takes to achieve the rank of black. What it has always taken. And it is simple- if you are sincere about bettering yourself as an individual then doing thousands of pushups and blogging regularly and attending classes just makes sense.

Brilliant Experiences

Even though I wasn't there for the majority, Bootcamp was pretty awesome. I carry the bruises on my forearms as a testament to the Wing Chung seminar and my wrist still rings from the broadsword seminar. Cool stuff.

It sounds like Sifu Brinkers seminar on Chi Cultivation was a hit. I'm not surprised. Although I'm reminded that it takes much more than one seminar to make use of the knowledge you gain. Something simple and well known but something that took me a long time to figure out nonetheless.

So bootcamp is over for the year. What do you do? I'll tell ya- keep the lessons fresh, keep the memories fresh. That way the experience will continue to carry you through to the next great experience. Perhaps an encounter with a giant beachball?

Boo yeah.

Life's Ruff (Get it?)

Ever since the weather became nice enough to go outside without a snowsuit I've been trying to get multiple project done. So much to do, both around the yard and for kung fu. Seems that no matter how hard a burn the candle I don't seem to make much progress.

I don't want to be that guy who pushes too hard too fast and ends up with a worse injury, but I feel like I'm at the point where I need to start pushing a bit outside the safety zone. And I am well aware that a couple of you are cringing right now. But I feel like I'm getting into a hole that I'm not going to get out of. Unless I start pushing it.

I had grand plans for this year, have made grand promises. I need to see them through. Period.

On the other hand, I'm burning out. I'm trying to be mindful like a good little martial artist, but I find myself running from one commitment to another, trying to find time to be home and help there, all while trying to help those around me with whatever comes up. Yesterday afternoon after spending the day in the city I tried to shake it off and be mindful, if just for a moment. So I saddled up Chloe (i.e. put her collar on) and took her for a walk, trying to appreciate the weather and the birds and the breeze. It worked, until I got home and saw the weeds taking over the garden and the grass that needed cutting and the floor that needed vacuuming and the dishes that needed doing. Mindfulness gone.

I'm not meaning to complain, I enjoy what I'm doing. How many people get to teach their "hobby" daily, or take their dogs to work everyday and hang out with their parents while getting paid?

I'm just... tired.

Greetings from a Campsite

I'm currently sitting in the middle of a bush surrounded by my dogs and mosquitos and I'm still thinking about the Pandamonium. So many people who pulled together to see it succeed, spending their day cooking or doing forms or, like Ms.Gibbons, sitting in the shade enjoying the festivities.

I never regret taking the time off to come up here with our friends but I find myself wondering how the buzz in the Kwoon feels right now. Is everyone still pumped? Does it feel great? I know events like the Pandamonium can act like a kick start so I'm curious as to the awesome things that might be happening.

Square One

I hate writing these types of posts, but they're supposed to be whats going on with me, right? So this is what is going on with me.

On Sunday I had a disagreement with a horse and the horse won. Literally. I had the option of being thrown into a barbwire fence or bailing, so I bailed. I'm not sure what happened, but I managed to save my shoulder, no harm there. But after an emergency room trip yesterday morning I know I've damaged most of the muscles in my left leg, specifically my hamstring and whatever muscle runs on the outside of the thigh. Outer quad? I don't know but I can tell you exactly where it is.

Doc figures I also impacted the site where the muscle connects to the bone, doing damage there. Honestly, I'm more concerned about my knee- she's swollen and hurts like stink when I twist it or put any weight on with without it being locked first.

Ah well. Saved my shoulder...

I've had my share of emergency room visits. I'm a clumsy fool. My husband has learned to live with a perpetually injured wife. He's threatened to buy me a wheelchair for my 35th. And at the rate I'm going...

One kinda cool thing- I now know that I broke my tailbone when I was younger. The X-rays yesterday showed a broken tailbone, but the ends of the bone were worn smooth like an old injury. I knew I had hurt it years ago, but didn't have a clue that it was broken.

Life goes on. At least I have an excuse to hang out with my cancer patient dog. Jill and I have been living relaxed for the last two days, lying around watching movies and hobbling around the yard without actually doing any yard work, just enjoying the birds and breeze. We don't move that fast and it seems that life has slowed down to our pace now. It's nice, actually.

So where do I stand with my training? Well, I think about it all the time. It's getting harder and harder to do much more than that. But I do what I can. I managed a pretty sweet right shoulder roll Sunday, although the break fall could have been better...

Perseverance and right attitude. People don't place enough emphasis on these two characteristics. They are game changers.

Many of you have heard about the difficulties we had on our way down to Alabama and on the way home. We were nearly blocked at customs in Edmonton simply because the custom officers did not believe we were traveling on our own dime to help a community full of people we did not know. It is sad to say that we were met with suspicion, that good deeds are not the norm and therefore those who perform them are not trusted.

I'm getting on a tangent. Sorry about that.

Anyways, difficulty down, difficulty back. When we missed our connection in Los Angeles I was mad. We had done everything we could to ensure we would make it, talked to the right people and tried to double check the gate we needed. Didn't pan out that way. Oh well, we talked to the right people again and got ourselves on a later plane home.

As my dad was driving me home after picking me up at the airport three hours later than we originally thought I was still a bit miffed. Then my dad broke the news to me that my Oma had fallen and broken her hip while she was walking to my parents house. The thing is, my Oma lives in St. Albert and my parents live about fifty kilometres away. All of a sudden that plane fiasco was minor and inconsequential. Now she needs surgery. Being ninety two, surgery is a big deal.

So I spent the day after I got back in the Misericordia hospital. Talking to my Oma was rough. She has Alzheimers and she's losing her English, reverting back to German. She is having hard time following the conversations between all of us and the doctor. She does not know why she is there, but what she does understand is that she is in a hospital and her family is there.

At one point in time it is just the two of us there. She says to me you all think I am dying. Thats okay, I am just happy you are all here. My ninety two year old Oma thinks she is dying and is only thinking about how happy she is that we are there.

The following evening I finally have a chance to talk to Nick. After talking about the trip and my Oma he breaks the news to me that our dog has been diagnosed with cancer and has only a year or so left. My heart hit the floor.

I remember thinking what the h was going on?

After we talked about our options for a while, I started watching our dog. There she is, lying on her bed completely oblivious to the fact that she is dying. She noticed that I was looking at her, caught my eye and came over to me. She started licking my hands and rubbing her face into my lap. I pet her for a while and she went back to her bed for a second nap.

Funny thing is, as I was typing that I broke down. Jill just did the exact same thing; came over, licked my hands and put her head in my lap. She's already back asleep by the bed.

Despite having cancer, that dog is happy. I firmly believe that even if she could understand what was happening to her she would still be happy. I know of no one else who can live in the moment better than a dog. And this moment, here, now, that is what matters most. Heck, I'd wager that dog is going to double her current prognosis just because she doesn't know that she is supposed to die.

So I have two old gals in my life, both of which have taught me invaluable lessons this past week. None of the negative matters when you choose to focus on the positive. Of course, this doesn't mean the negatives do not exist or do not require your attention. But it sure does make the load easier to bear.

I Never Would Have Thought...

So we're home. I've had so many great experiences that I don't know where to start- customs and missed flights, the incredible world class people who made us lunch and rolled on the mats, the chance to help a community, getting to know the locals.

I think this trip is going to be the stem of many future posts, some with hero's and villains and others with just great stories.

This post however, I want to first say thank you to everyone that I've met over the last week, thank you to the three of you I traveled with and lived next to, thank you to everyone who made such life changing experiences possible. I asked myself where am I and what am I doing so many times this last week, and I was stunned with the answers I would give myself.

I am beside a Samuel Mockbee building working side-by-side with four successful martial art school owners.
I am in rural Alabama being taught to ride a Ripboard by a mennonite girl.
I am in a church in Greensboro talking to a pro fighter about software.
I am in a building where bikes are made from bamboo learning simple electrical.
I am in a kitchen listening to Julia Butterfly Hill talk about Luna and the car accidents she recently had.
I am in Selma walking across the Edmund Pettus Bridge with Keshia Thomas.
I am in Pam Dorr's home making pancakes.

I am still stunned.

Every morning after we were woken up by Master Callos I tried to ground myself. I would think what would Sifu Brinker say? He would say something about how incredible it is that we are here, now, in this building. How many little things had to happen to place us in that building at that point in time with that group of people. How incredible is life?

I am still stunned and I am forever grateful for the experiences.