MIA or AWOL?

I never realized how much I let myself get distracted. During the demo last Saturday, I had to force myself to refocus several times, after a stray thought went through my head or when I noticed a book title painted on the wall or when I glanced at the other demo-ees and started oohong and aahing. When this happened, I noticed myself speeding up and had to consciously slow down. This tells me that I practice too fast too much, and I'm reverting to what I've taught myself to do. Bummer. But, I didn't have to improvise the last half this time! Step in the right direction at least.

Now, switching gears about 180 degrees- I just wrote and deleted a very blunt paragraph regarding the attendance, or lack there of, at the last I Ho Chuan class. It was sharp and to the point and I took it out because... well because it was sharp and to the point. So, to get to the point, where is everyone?

There Were Butterflies in that Place, I Swear

The number one, most important thing in self defense is to stay calm. This was reiterated for me last Saturday during the demo. Not that I was in a threatening situation, but after watching the video of the demo you can see where and when I lost my nerve. At least, I can. The second half of the demo was strictly improv on my part- not that I don't know the Tai Chi form, but after I let myself get distracted I could not, no matter what I tried, find my place again. All of Sifu Dennis's words floated out of my head, everything about maintaining my high seat, how I need to shift my weight, keeping my upper body in sync with my legs. I was on survival mode only, and I have to say my survival mode is not pretty. Sorry Sifu Brinker, I was hoping to show you how far I've come.

But, ignoring me, I think the demo was a success. It seems to be getting good reviews, and even though we had a few glitches (what good SRKF demo doesn't) it seemed to me that the crowd was happy with it. I tease my students about paying more attention to the butterflies in the corners than to the instructors when they lose their focus. Besides me, no one seemed to notice the butterflies in that place, and everyone was on their game. Kudos, and thanks to everyone involved for making it happen. Because that's what we did- got up and finally made it happen.

Green Fields and Endless Squeak Toys

So the first of three parts of Operation Pistachio is nearly complete. I'm hoping it'll be received well, and helpful to those it targets.

The demo is coming along, I'm happy and pleasantly surprised that the song I choose worked- I was worried that it would crash and burn but everyone has been working hard and surprisingly understood my brain process when I tried to explain it at the beginning. Thanks for all your hard work everyone!

Tai Chi is coming, but I really feel like a whitebelt again. Its strange- in Kung Fu I can feel if my stances are off, I can understand what a move is trying to accomplish and I can self correct. In Tai Chi I have no eye for detail unless I look at my feet after every move to correct my stance, I have yet to identify the common fundamentals that flow through every technique. In Kung Fu, you can feel if something is wrong even if its new because these fundamentals apply. I can't in Tai Chi. Additionally, I've noticed that Tai Chi amplifies any problems that I have- the tightness in my shoulders affect all my movements, my center lifts in some movements, maintaining my high chair has to be a conscious, continuous effort, I have a problem with the harmony between my hands and feet. Ak. It reminds me of new students- you fix their bow stance, align their hips and they lose it as soon as the switch positions. They can't feel the difference yet. This is happening to me in the toyo (sp?) stance, and its driving me insane. Slowly, I'm developing a sense for the stance, but its been a rude awakening for me. But I'm excited also, because I am learning so much about the movement and the alignment of the body, so much that can help me in the rest of my training. So awesome.

On a bad note, our puppy passed away last night. By puppy I mean very old mutt, but I still remember when my mother and I bottle fed him and the rest of his litter mates. Goodbye Diesel, hope the raw hide is endless and the cats are clawless wherever you are.

I Can't Think of a Witty Title

So, to address last weeks challenge-

To begin with I had a hard time wrapping my head around the mend a relationship requirement. I understood the potential benefit of it, but my problem was that any of my relationships that went sour went sour for a reason. I have a few that definitely were left on a bad note, but these were people who were out of my life for a good reason and by my decision. As its always said, surround yourself with only good, honest people who ask more of you than you do yourself. Hence, I didn't want to mend those relationships.
But I realized I had blinders on. Those were not the only relationships that could use some work, and not the only relationships that were rocky. I've had friends that have moved away, some who made poor decisions and some where I made poor decisions. Everyone does, and if you don't think so look harder. Some relationships were good, but could be better. Some people could use a phone call and a hey, how are ya? or I love you. Those never hurt.
This summer I mended a relationship with an old friend who can be difficult at times, and who I had not seen in two years. We had dinner together, I met her new daughter and caught up on the times. If I hadn't I would have missed out. There are amazing people out there who has so much to offer, and if you don't take that step you can miss the chance at something amazing, knowing someone amazing.

As for my personal goals, gaining my third degree was a no brainer, but maybe not for obvious reasons. For progression, well yes, but I don't like to judge or be judged based on the number of pretty stripes on a belt. They may give some indication of knowledge, but they can't give you a full scope of that individual. However, as Sifu Brinker mentioned, if my students don't see me progress, what will they think? They can't see me in my own class or in my back yard, they only see me in their classes with their curriculum. Will they trust me if they don't see my own progression? Good point, I say.

But I don't Feel Less Wise...

I have to start by apologizing for being mia this last week. Things just came to a grinding halt for me, and it was more because of lack of planning than anything. I never had a fallout plan for if things went bad when I got my wisdom teeth removed, and of course Murfys law had to step in.

But I'm not mia anymore. I'm back. In spirit, anyways. And with all this downtime I've managed to pick a new demo song, came up with a couple ideas to improve the existing demo and came to realize the awesomeness of family, both the related and the kwoon versions.

Public thank you to my ma for all the soup she's made over the last week. Thank you to my pa for playing chauffeur. Thank you to my hubby for the sympathetic shoulder.

And thanks to all you guys for picking up the ball, both in my Onoway classes and in my various commitments in Stony. Hugs all around.