Deviation from the Norm

With the year of the sheep winding down, my first year not on the team, I'm finding myself looking towards the upcoming year rather than reflecting on the year past. It was a spectacular year, one not soon matched or forgotten.

I'm back on the team. It was never up for debate, I knew I'd be joining up again after the first month out. As it was so elegantly phrased, it's the follow through I was lacking in my previous years. I'm reminded of what Phil says to Loki, "you lack conviction". And look what happens.

Living on the outside would not do, not if I wanted to achieve my goals, conquer the world. So as of February 8th I'm back on the inside.

Although I still have to iron out a few details regarding my goals, I'm finally walking into this with a game plan, and not just 'do my stuff, repeat'. I want to give myself the chance to succeed this time, and not just mostly but completely. I have some fairly major plans that are first and foremost in my mind and they will stay firmly planted there until I see them through. I've taken the first steps, so now it's just the follow through I have to worry about. If anything can be learned from the past it's not that I never see my goal through, it's that I need conviction to follow through to the end. I've got it now, and with the teams' help I'll maintain it through to the end.

For the System

Sometimes it's easy to forget that this kung fu stuff we do is an art. It has personality and grows to reflect the individual who is practicing it. The practice of it changes depending on your mood and state of mind. It evolves, sometime for the better, sometimes for the worse. But it always evolves.

As a student I learned long ago that I needed to let go of the constant analysis. Trying to nail down an art using physics and facts is like trying to nail down water. Good luck with the attempt. I learned that the answer will be there when it's needed as long as I train for the system instead of the application. And quite often I have the answer myself, if I just give myself a chance to find it.

Kung fu is personal, yes, however you need a firm grasp of the basics and the system before you can successfully innovate. If you skip ahead and try to modify a technique such as chi sao or calming the ocean before its lessons are firmly in your mind then you'll loose the lesson. One class worth of practice, one week or one month is not enough to solidify a concept. If you are successful in finally understanding the concepts then you will have no need to try and change a technique, you will have the ability to adapt it as necessary. The technique is not the goal. The concepts behind them are.

Investments

I can tell you without exaggerating that the kwoon does literally hold my blood, sweat and tears somewhere in some form. If find that a fairly significant fact for me. It tells me that I have a lot invested into my training; time and effort and everything in between.

There have been times where I've wanted to walk away from it all, thinking life would be much simpler, much easier and less stressful if I did. No one to be accountable to, no one noticing how much I did or didn't practice, no one to answer to when I make dumb decisions. But I've never left. Once I started thinking along those lines I started getting scared, wondering. If I were truly honest with myself, how far would I let myself slide in life?

Not saying that I feel I'd turn into some horrible person. But I know I'd be a less awesome person. I wouldn't be reminded to be active. I wouldn't have the confidence to stand up for myself. I wouldn't have the desire to be kind.

It's a slippery slope. Once you skip that first class, the second is easier, it doesn't matter so much. Once you miss a day of push ups it's harder to complete them the next day. Why does it seem that it's always easy to fall down and so hard to pick yourself up?

Skipping that class or that meeting or those pushups do not relieve the stress. It does not make life easier, simpler or better in any shape, way or form. Completing those push ups make me feel better. Being at class relieves the stress I feel, gives me structure and desire to accomplish great things. All those investments I mentioned, they'll pay off if given the chance.

I'm glad to back on the team. See you where the grass is greener.

2015 2016

I've been catching up on everyone's blogs this morning and felt compelled to mull over the change in the year and the passing of time. I can't say I'm sad to see 2015 end. It sucked. But I also can't see how 2016 will be any different, what, just because I had to change the calendar on the wall? Red heelers mixed with blue heelers instead of just the latter. Big change.

The change in the date is inconsequential. I remember writing about this last year and my opinion obviously hasn't changed. The only real change comes from within, when people feel compelled to "start fresh". Perhaps the date triggers this but only because its a reminder of the passing of time and therefore the lack of or wasting of time. Or, perhaps less negatively, the ability to cherish our time, make the most of our time.

So I suppose it does make sense, that ringing in the new year also signifies an new beginning. It is, after all, the biggest annual reminder of the passing of time. But therein lies the problem- it only occurs once a year. So I say lets build in a few more of these renewal dates. How about once a month. That sounds reasonable, doesn't it? Then once a month we can reinvigorate ourselves, do a spot check and move off again in the right direction if we find ourselves going astray. Sounds solid.

Everyone sees where I'm going here, eh?

If you hear me yelling "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" at our next meeting don't be surprised.