Sautéed Mushrooms

So I'm a week into the 30 day vegetarian challenge set out by Sifu Brinker. One thing I've learned- my stir fry skills have not improved. Nick did up a couple steaks tonight for my dad and himself. It was the first time that I really didn't want it. No craving, no looking longingly at his plate. This is vastly different than the last time I took on this challenge. I remember writing a blog titled medium rare with sautéed mushrooms. I remember wanting meat even more, just because I said I wouldn't. I remember chowing down on roast beef the day it was done.

Who knows what the rest of these 30 days will be like but I have the notion that, as Sifu Brinker mentioned in his post tonight, this mindfulness thing might be worming its way into my skull. I know the seed was planted a long time ago. Heck, never mind the seeds, I've had tulip bulbs bouncing off my skull for a while now. My biggest hint that this may be the way to go would have been back in June when too much meat landed me in the hospital four times. Really. No, really.

Thing is, there really hasn't been a huge change for me. I just load up with all the rest of the goodies instead of that steak. A nice side effect is that Nick is eating more veggies too. Although he is still adamant that if it's green it has gone bad. And my mom made me borscht with veggie broth instead of chicken broth. It was awesome.

I'm looking forward to trying those chipotle black bean burgers.

March of the Salamanders

This week has kind of developed a theme for me, although I guess the theme could happen any day of the week or any moment. But for some reason this week it was more apparent to me.

During Wednesday's beginner adult class Sifu Brinker was getting the students to work on asserting themselves grounding themselves. Towards the end he had them pair up, one with guards up and the other hooking the guard and throwing a roundhouse to the midsection. There was an odd number so I jumped in. We drilled, I got kicked, we drilled, I got yanked around, we drilled. I found myself giggling to myself every time I was yanked off balance or kicked accidentally in the ribs. It was nice to get back to the roots and just experience, work with a new white belt and see the progress being made all over again in someone else. I was ecstatic, and I think I was more excited to see her progress than she was. Maybe because I could see it so clearly whereas she was just doing as she was told. Either way, for the first time in a long time I found myself completely immersed in what I was doing without all the distractions and stresses that are persistent in my head. I was happy like I couldn't have been if I hadn't been just living for the moment.

During my own class Thursday I found myself distracted. Not intentionally, but my mind would not stay put where it was supposed to be. I imagine partially due to the illness I'm still battling. However, for a moment I found myself distracted by the setting sun and the storm clouds. Twilight was working its magic. Beautiful. The clouds all seemed just in the right spot to reflect the setting sun. Although I was living in the wrong moment, I was most definitely living in the moment.

Of course everyone pays attention while driving, however at the beginning of spring and the beginning of fall I find myself even more mindful whilst on the road. Around our lake hundreds of salamanders are making their way into the mud of the ditches, which means they're all trying to cross the highway that encircles the lake. I find myself very aware of every little dark spot on the road, steering left and right in an effort not to squish any of these little guys. Now, if I were just in a rush to get here or there like so many others, there would be fewer of these guys come spring. And fewer newly hatched salamanders. Fewer salamanders seems so sad to me- they're a neat little creature willing to give up their tails for you. How could you not like them?

And last, as mentioned during the IHC meeting, this mindful eating/vegetarian challenge thing. It hasn't been the idea of becoming a vegetarian that has been gnawing away at me, but the why. I am cutting up an animal. Not just that, but I'm cutting up an animal that was specifically born in horrid conditions and suffered pain and abuse its entire life so that it could be inhumanely killed, hacked up, placed in cellophane and cooked for my culinary pleasure. I feel like such a self righteous monster when these thoughts surface while I'm preparing that stew. I begin to notice the feel of the knife as it severs the muscle tissues. My biology background kicks in and I can imagine the mechanisms that allowed that muscle to flex and support the animal, all of which I just hacked to bits. I name myself an animal lover and yet allow animals to die unnaturally for me, just so long as I don't watch it happen? Just so long as it's someone else doing it? No, I can't buy into that. I'm creating the demand, I'm responsible for the actions that demand throws into play. Awareness. You can't deny these things if you are truly aware. I think this decision has been creeping up on me slowly, and I just got slapped in the face with it Saturday.

Just so long as no one proves that coffee beans cry when they are slow roasted. If they do don't tell me, please.

Making Progress. ? .

So hows my training going? Been practicing my forms but I'm still not happy with them. The broadsword is the slowest to progress, it seems to me. Probably because I practice it the least out of the three. Weird.

I'm enjoying my tai chi more than I usually do. I remember writing a blog years ago about how I loathed it- so much to remember, so much to pay attention to. Thats definitely changed, I enjoy minding the details and I feel good when I'm doing it.

Pushups are coming along, shoulder is stronger and bothers me less. Although the last few days I've noticed my right shoulder is the one bothering me. My last good joint. Bummer. Sit ups have never been a problem for me, I've always been strong with them even back in junior high when our grade depended on them. I hated the sprints though- I'm not a fast runner. Never was. And I can remember to this day the annoying BEEP which meant turn around and go back. They could have at least picked a different tone that didn't grate on the nerves so much.

As for the rest- I'm walking more and more, strolling with the dogs through the bush as much as I can before the s**w hits. But no, not tracking it, so yes, I'm failing that. Personal goals- I want to start recording forms soon. I wanted to start recording them months ago but this year has proven to be one huge derailment. 2016 is a stupid number anyways. I just need to figure out how and where so that its more than just a clip on my phone. Gardening project- phase one bit the dust due to a lovely buried power line. Phase 2 and 3- we'll have to see, but not this year for sure. The rest of my goals are not progressing as I had hoped and not for lack of trying. One big derailment and many dejected moments.

Doesn't sound promising when I write it out like this.