Why We're Different

My mom put my brother and myself into Kung Fu when I was 9. Rene was 11. He was being bullied at school, had been placed in trashcans and other things that kids do. I wasn't being bullied but being young and female my mom saw the value of putting me in classes as well. She wasn't thinking of getting her kids trained up to throw a punch back. She wanted us to have confidence and the skills to deal with conflict.

Fast forward a few years. I'm still in school and kids are still being kids. The thing I remember is knowing that these kids shouldn't be doing these things. I know it's wrong. I find myself wanting to distance myself from specific people who pick on the younger kids, are starting to experiment with alcohol, smoking and other things. They're skipping classes and inviting me along. Academics are not as important as reputation. I learn the confidence to say no and to ignore the comments thrown at my back as I walk away. I'd rather go to social than to go to the pond and drink. I become friends with other likeminded kids who don't see the value in being one of the "cool crowd".

Interestingly enough, I wanted to quit kung fu. My mom would hear none of it, dragging my whining butt to classes twice a week.

Few more years forward. I'm living in the city in my very first apartment with a friend from high school. She was one of those who would rather be cool than be educated. I'm going to Grant MacEwan, she's working at Safeway. One Thursday night a few other friends of ours come over. One of them brings along some "recreational foods". All my friends are giggling and acting stupid. Instead of joining in I go to bed- I have an early lab the next day. I have no interest in their activities even though I can hear them calling my name though the bedroom wall.

Even though I live in the city I still make the drive twice a week out to Onoway. Classes are now a part of me and I never considered quitting when I moved away, just made sure my class schedule worked around those times.

A decade later. I'm teaching kids how to be confident, how to think for themselves and to connect the dots between what is right and kind. What kind of person they want to be and how to succeed. Although I have been in several altercations I have never had to throw a punch. When someone says something to me with the intent to harm I let it go as I understand that they themselves must be hurting somehow. I have confidence enough in myself to know the difference between insult and a harsh reality check and to be able to take criticism in an effort to be a better version of me. I know how to throw a kick and I know how to physically hurt another person but I find no desire to. I am strong without having to throw a fist.

So tell me, do you think we teach kids how to deal with a bully? Or to make the right choices, to succeed in life? Because I sure do. This is not just another activity to put your child into until they loose interest. I thank my mother for understanding that when I, being young, couldn't. I know it would have been easier on her to just let me quit, but she didn't. She also couldn't always be there when I was being pressured or when I had a choice to make, but she made sure I had the best chance the right tools to make the right decisions.