I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I have been trying to find a root cause, and although on the surface I seem to have several legitimate, out of my control reasons (two are named Sydney and Carter, another is called lack of sleep) I knew intuitively that these were not the root cause, just additional factors.
Thing is, although I have more days now that I cannot attend classes, I don’t feel the struggle is in my physical presence. I can honestly say I attend every class that I can. I engage in every class I attend. I give my everything to each class I teach, for better or worse.
I’m struggling mentally and emotionally. Your first reaction is Covid. Well, yes. Like my kids, that is a factor but no, not the root cause. I feel that I have the foundation and mental fortitude to endure this pandemic. Not unscathed, but endure.
Why the struggle then?
I have some situations in my private life that I know are affecting me mentally, and as a result I am withdrawing. Not the best action, but it is occurring none the less. But that is my private life and has nothing to do with my Kung Fu life.
Or does it? Or more accurately, does it affect it?
Yes. Don’t ask my why I didn’t see this before because now it seems so obvious. I am withdrawing from certain aspects in my life. Of course I’m going to withdraw from other aspects as well. It’s not like I can turn off and on my withdrawal, or more specifically turn off and on my mental and emotional funk. I’m seeing the issues I’m dealing with starting to manifest everywhere, and therefore I have to assume that I am the common factor and not that I’m just so unlucky as to be bombarded by the same issue on multiple fronts.
I’ve connected these dots, and now I can start to see a way out of it.
1 comment:
Thank-you for sharing this. As hard as it is to do, I feel like when we share our struggles, it always helps others that are experiencing the same thing.
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