So Awesome

Apologies to everyone, we had a practice last night and only a few people were there. I'm guessing it was because I didn't post a reminder. Regardless, we had a good practice. It was nice to get back not the kwoon, it feels like its been too long even though its been less than a week.

I'm realizing how much time we don't have left. We're into te final push. And added to that, we all need to spend some time getting ready for the tournament. The process really does take a full year, for a good reason.

I thought it was just me, but after talking to a couple other black belts I realized how much this process really affects a person. I've been feeling a gap between myself and many of my non SRKF friends, a gap that widens every time they ask why I spend so much time at the studio, so much time being injured and so much time away from home when I wouldn't have to if I choose not to. They will never get it, and I can't explain why without sounding like a fanatic masicist. It kinda sucks, but I cannot change it without giving up a part of myself. And I'm not willing to do that. This is way too awesome for that.

Oh, I got The Journal of Awesome too!

After the events of last Friday, everything I was planning on writing seems very insignificant in comparison. My thoughts and love go out to those now grieving.

I hugged my niece and nephew a bit tighter yesterday.

If You Join Next Year, the End is NOT Nigh!

The last few blogs posted by fellow teammates seem to be about finishing up the year of the dragon and reviewed goals and all those related topics that arise toward the end of the year. I don't wanna post about that, its all too "end is nigh" for me, and I'm enjoying this way too much to think about it being almost over. So I'm going to happily stay in Never Never Land for a while longer.

I've never not enjoyed going to classes and practices, but I will admit that its been a while since I've actually willed time to move faster so that I can go to the next class or practice or dance. No matter how crummy my days have been, my evenings completely wipe out any negativity and I just have fun, doing something I enjoy with people I enjoy. I can see the progress in everyone, and I think "wow, if one year of focus can lead to this, what can a lifetime do?". Ooohh...click. Now I understand the mastery bit...

Weekend-of-Awesome

I took this last weekend for myself. I didn't do anything I didn't want to do, I didn't stress about the things I had to do, and I didn't feel guilty when I decided to sit down and read a book. Literally, one full book. Haven't done that in a while. I'm always worried that if I took a weekend like this, I'd fall further behind or I'd feel guilty. But I feel better now. I cranked Frank Sinatra and finished the insulation in our dining room. I then cranked some classical and cleaned the bathroom and actually had fun doing it (weird). I then cranked some Muse and Aerosmith and did laundry.

I practiced because I wanted to, not because I had to. I feel better about Lao Gar because I think I have my fixes in place. My ma came over and we helped each other with Tai Chi; I guided her through the beginning of Part I and I went through the whole thing, saying the moves as I did them and she followed the sheets to make sure I was right. We've been doing this at least once a week for the last while, and I like finally having someone at home who can help me, and who's interested. We sat, drank coffee, watched my bird outwit the dog and set up my cats' new tower-of-awesome scratch post (Costco special!).

There are things going on in my life that I'm not fond of, at work, in my training and in my personal life. But right now, I don't care. I'm happy, the day is beautiful and my iPod is cranked again, sitting beside me on my desk, as I type this. Frank is singing "The Best is Yet to Come"- I think he's right!

The Gravy on the Side, Not the Meal

So I had a scare last week, and it sure put things in perspective for me. I've been working diligently on my Tai Chi, and I'm happy that I can see progress, but when I had a fellow student come up to me and say "so your degree grading is this weekend, eh?" I had a mini freak out. No, it wasn't last weekend, but the thought shook me up. This thing can happen at any time, and I need to be perpetually ready for it. The time I have now needs to be icing on the cake, not the bake time. It needs to be the cherry, not the split. You get my meaning.

I feel happy with my Tai Chi (but it still needs work), but now I'm scared I've let other things slide. I had Mastery memorized at one point, but I've let it fade. I was working on fixing some areas in Lao Guar, but I don't think I've practiced them enough to make the changes mine. And I haven't picked up my spade in a month. Ak.

With everything going on, my own training is slipping. And this is bad.

I Am Happy

I've started my 2013 requirements recently, and no I haven't completed most of my 2012 requirements. I don't have the time, but I'm making the time anyways.

A big one that I'm starting, struggling with but starting, is cutting back coffee. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal to most, but to me its huge. Since I started university, coffee has been my emotional blanky- if I'm tired it perks me up, if I'm stressed it relaxes me, if I'm cold it warms me, if I'm mad it calms me and if I'm sick it soothes me. And this is just for starters. Now do you understand why I have resisted so much in the past? And yes, I'm sipping my coffee right now, as I type about how amazing it is and how I'm cutting it out. Not completely, just reducing it to one cup a day instead of one pot or more.

The other new requirement I've started is a journal- a private gratitude journal with a twist. When I was younger I was fairly artistic, something that I miss now and enjoyed then. Gratuity is something we can all use more of, therefore I've combined these two ideas. For example, a couple weeks ago, when I got home from class the snow was falling gently, it was dead silent and beautiful. I just stood there, under the dim streetlight and watched it fall, trying to see the individual flakes for what they were- beautiful. It was the kind of thing that just made me happy to be alive, made me breathe and as Sifu puts it, to recognize where I was and what I was doing. So, my second journal entry was a picture of snow, crisp and beautiful. The first entry was simply "My Art Journal", written pretty with pretty things around it. The fact that I live a life that allows me to have the time and resources to dedicate to making pretty pictures on paper- thats pretty amazing in itself.

Part II- In Theatres Soon

Part II of Operation Pistachio will be deployed tonight... I'll update as to how it goes. Or maybe the poor soul I'm targeting will provide us with some insight to its reception & possession.