Mindful Learning

When teaching, I always try to ensure I get the lesson across, not just stuff the students brains with sequences and and new moves and foot positions and depth of stances. Everything in the curriculum has a purpose, and that purpose is not always a defense or application. Much of the time the purpose is to further the students understanding of body mechanics, harmonies, vocabulary of motion. The art of kung fu, not the application of self defense. Art will lead to application.

As a student, I strive to hear my instructors and to identify the lessons buried in the motion. I find myself often asking questions that I could answer for myself if I just stopped long enough to think about it. If I quit thinking about the application and think about the lesson behind it. Normally if I ask do you do this or this? the answer is yes. That's enough to tell me a Picard face palm is in order.

As both a student and teacher my advice would be this- find that lesson and work on it mindfully. If you feel the need to try and modify the technique, maybe try different finishes or change its direction, that's fine but make sure you have the lesson first. I see too many students try to advance the technique without first understanding it, without identifying the lessons and making them their own. Work on the lesson mindfully and the sequences, foot positions and deep stances will follow much easier. It'll become what your body wants to do instead of what you have to force from your body.

Oh, the Places You'll Go!

I am determined to make the most of this shoulder injury I have. I can't lift anything heavier than a toothpick, twist or torque it. The swelling and stiffness is a constant reminder not to push it, a hard feat when you lose your dominant arm and get tired of asking someone to help put on your jacket. I've noticed lost muscle mass, so even when I get my arm back it'll be a weak little thing.

Regardless of that whining paragraph, I see this as an opportunity. I've struggled constantly with my shoulders. They try to take over the show when I do my forms, are constantly tense and ache, reminding me that they're too involved and dominant. I have no choice now, if I want to get anything done towards my forms I have to move slow and deliberately, keep my shoulders completely relaxed. Nothing can be rash or sudden otherwise I get a jolt of pain to remind me to behave myself. Everything has to be deliberate and mindful. I lose the moment and do something stupid and my shoulder will tell me.

I've been more engaged and focused lately when doing my forms. They may not reflect that yet- all motion is smaller and below my shoulders, my kicks are slow and soft. But I think in the long run this is a good thing. I have no choice but to address the problem with my shoulders and I get immediate and unrelenting feedback. My six harmonies have a chance to improve now. Too bad it took a ruptured ac ligament to get me here.

Mischief Managed

Let there be no doubt as to the importance of practice and the basics. One gross miscalculation on my part has left me feeling like a toddler, phoning my mommy because I'm stuck with a t-shirt half way over my head and asking her to please put my hair into a ponytail.

I have never hidden the fact that I suck at right handed shoulder rolls. Or that I dislike flying techniques. Well, now I feel the urge to practice them on a daily basis, but alas I cannot. Not for a good 6 weeks, and I bet I'll be a scared wimp the next time I try.

Moral of the story- practice your basics people! I don't care if you don't like doing such and such, they exist for a good reason. Otherwise you'll be asking your spouse to open your pill bottles and your mother to please feed me, I can't even butter my toast!

android

If you guys can see this it works off android as well.

The Moon Can Wait

Last night I had supper at our neighbors house with their family. Caught up with a few friends, how have you been, whats new, hows the job? I'm starting to hate this question, as I never know how to answer it. When I explain that I haven't gotten a job, that I'm still just at SRKF teaching I get a couple common responses- mostly I get the feeling that they believe I'm freeloading off my husband, letting him earn the bacon as I frolic. When are you going to get a real job? Do something with your life? Why did you give up a sweet job just to muddle with a hobby?

My response to this is a whole other post. I got a new one yesterday that really threw me for a loop. My friend suggested that I start my own school, separate from SRKF, surely your students would follow you? You're smart, you can make it successful, make a living from it. I love her as a friend, but it struck home how much the people around me don't understand me or what I do. I could only shake my head and tell her it would never happen.

Sometimes I feel alone. I've surrounded myself with loving, good people but very few of them can understand that this is not a hobby. I am not wasting my time. I do not like having to defend my choices or my loyalty to the school.

When I was a kid I wanted to do something amazing with my life. I aimed high. I wanted to work at NASA or cure cancer or design the new Burj. As I grew up I saw things around me that I couldn't accept. Arrogance, ignorance, abuse, apathy.

I've been given an opportunity to reach my childhood dream of making a difference. To promote kindness, compassion, empathy, awareness. I'm taking it. I would ask my friends who judge me, what are you doing with your life?

Trying to Move Forward

I'm trying to figure out what motivates me and what holds me still. I know that I suck at self motivation. I know the meetings we have and the classes I attend start off little sparks, but they don't always live past the moment. When they do I don't know what enables it. Like many people I sometimes find it hard to get up and drag myself to class but I do knowing that I'll feel better for doing it. I'm trying to always be in the right place at the right time to ensure that I keep moving forward. Considering the time and effort I've thus far invested in my training it would be ridiculous to waste it by falling short now.

On the flip side, it's hard to find the balance between encouraging teammates and pushing them away. It's not always easy to read someone and know what they need to hear to bring them back. Too much talk turns into white noise, too much pushing can lead to resentment. All I know is that I believe everyone can benefit from kung fu, even if I can't properly voice why they should stay in such a way that will reach them.

It was nice to see that many of us on Saturday, all in the same spot at the same time. Its been a while since that last happened. It reinforces that this is a team, not a solitary endeavor. Some people can excel on their own, but everyone can excel when there is a herd of teammates behind you. And the company is infinitely better.

Read Me Repeatedly, Khona!

Well, thought I'd let everyone know I'm not dead. I had the flu for a couple days which evolved into one heck of a bout of bronchitis, which I'm still battling but I'm on meds and things are looking up. Missing so many classes has not been enjoyable- it really is easy not to do anything when you feel ill and can't walk across the yard without wheezing and coughing.

My lack of participation these last couple weeks has got me thinking about what I want to do differently next year. Oddly enough, it's the same things that I wanted changed this year but just didn't. So logically, its my approach and commitment levels that need an adjustment. So, how to do this? I have a plan. Oddly enough, its a plan that I've heard about before. It's a strange concept called accountability...

My grand plan is to get one other individual on board to be my cheer team and butt whooper when required. I offer my services as cheerleader and reality checker in exchange. Weekly get togethers if possible, number crunching on a regular basis, running and/or biking buddy moments. The logic behind only one individual is this- too many and getting together gets difficult. Others of course would be welcome to join in, but not necessary. And I'm talking about getting things done other than what we have time for on Fridays. Maybe burn a little more gas but that isn't something I'm not already used to.

I have not given up on this year, but I woefully recognize all the lost and wasted time. I'm good a procrastination. Tangent- I've always done my best when under pressure to meet a deadline, preferably one that is unrealistic. In university I took my prof's advice once and worked on my term paper months in advance, checking and polishing and researching. I almost failed. All other papers that I put together two days before they were due (all one billion pages) I aced. So practice makes perfect. Unfortunately I've perfected the art of procrastination.

So there it is. A grand plan laid out just waiting to be executed. Still I worry, it's not the first time I've decided to change my pace and failed.

Oh, the title is a reminder to me. So I can scroll through my past posts and catch my attention in the future... my past self (which is currently my present self) talking to my future self (which will then be my present self too)... woah, messing with the space-time continuum!