Missed Opportunities

I remember in my school years the teachers always encouraging us to start working on our term papers early, write them out and spend a couple months critiquing them and polishing them. I was never that person, I just sat down and wrote it in one shot after I let my ideas bounce around for a while first. I always did well enough but I tried it once, spend months on a paper that was worth about 50% of my final grade. I almost failed.

I find that I have all this information and knowledge bouncing around in my head. I try to force it out and it won't come. But once in a while something happens and it flows naturally, an answer or a technique or a term paper. Its like a snowflake, everything needed is just floating around in the atmosphere and suddenly, with a drop in temperature, poof. A snowflake forms.

Often the catalyst is a lesson I had yet to grasp, or a phrase that someone says that strikes a cord. Or sometimes it's just a question that was asked of me. But always a catalyst. Which makes me wonder, how many of these chances have I missed? How many times what I not in the right place for a lesson to ring true? For a phrase to be grasped? So many times it was something that was mentioned casually, about the use of a cyclone kick or the complexity of a front thrust. And I can only think about the times I was not listening, not noticing, not at class.

If you open yourself to the people around you there is so much you can gain. I have things I can teach you. You, who is reading this now. I guarantee it. And I know you have things you can teach me. I don't care what colour your belt is or how many stripes you do or do not have. We can learn from each other. Who knows, maybe we'll be each others catalyst for something wonderful. But if one of us lets our ego get in the way we will loose the chance forever.

Just Another Day

I spend this morning with my mother, making batch after batch of pasta, trying different ingredients and types. Double batches of everything so we both could give it a try. The lasagne noodles are currently drying out on the counter.

Prior to grabbing this laptop and I was folding cranes and watching a movie called "42". My dogs are sleeping on the floor and in the chair beside me. My cat stole the chair I was in up until I left it to grab this laptop. He is now sound asleep and I had to relocate.

So why am I telling you about my day? It took a while but the significance of what I was doing finally set in. I thought, cool, today is a good day. And not just because 42 is the answer to life, the universe and everything. Sometimes you need to do something that is fun, quality, meaningful. Despite the fear of sounding cliche, something that feeds the soul. Folding cranes is an obvious one, as long as you're aware of what you are doing and why. Spending time with my mommy- self explanatory. Google the movie "42" and that one will make sense as well.

However, today could have very easily fallen into just one of those days in my memory. What I was doing and the awesomeness of it all could have been lost to me if I hadn't had a fleeting thought I managed to hold onto long enough to solidify it. It goes to show how easily meaning can elude you, and the importance of staying in the moment. I imagine someone who has the most fulfilling life possible can feel empty if they never stop to appreciate the events and moments they experience. There is significance in everything around you, if only you choose to stop and smell the roses once in a while.

Anchors

On the inside of my car door is a small patch of yellow paint. Its been there for quite a while, and it isn't wearing off. I could get annoyed by this, I have paint stuck on my car, but I don't. Actually, I smile whenever I notice it.

A year or so ago some of us helped out with a bridge painting project for the town of Stony Plain. We painted a walking bridge yellow. I had paint on my arm when I drove away and it transferred when I propped my arm on the windowsill.

Having a memory anchor like this is a powerful tool. I smile when I see that paint because it reminds me about that day. I remember Sifu Vantuil's two girls laughing and getting paint all over. I remember the Bjorkquists and Kohuts playing ultimate frizbee. I remember a happy day with great people.

The Tiger Challenge can serve as an anchor as well, if you let it. Remember the triumphs and the learning experiences. The work that was put into that day and the benefits of that dedication.

All our events can work this way. That is what they are meant for, for the SRKF family to bond and grow together.

Choice

When I take a step back and listen to what people around me are saying and watch what people around me are doing one thing becomes very clear. Everything that I believe in, that I do and that I am is a result of what I do, what I choose not to do and how I handle the events of my life.

Simple, and I know many of you know this. What I didn't think of until recently is how apparent the results are to everyone around me. I don't know everything about what has shaped you, but I see the results clear as day. I see when it has made you stronger or when it made you hide.

None of you know all of my past or my present state. And no, this is not that kind of blog where I will divulge all my secrets. But despite not knowing, you can see how my decisions have shaped me. It is obvious when I choose to come to class or not, and the effects of my decisions are equally apparent. If I'm there, I get a little better, more confident, closer to where I'm trying to get to. When I'm not, you know I'm struggling somehow, in some aspect of my life. When someone shows me a kindness I know something brought them to that point. When someone shows me malice I know something took them to that place. Strangely enough, the same event can cause both outcomes.

I want to tell you a story. There are two brothers, similar in age and intellect. They come from a broken home, one of their parents left without a word to either of them. The other parent was less than understanding. They have lost both their parents since, both at a young age. Both were affected by a serious childhood illness in some way.

One brother has a wife whom loves him, a home and a job he enjoys. He is for the most part content, working towards building a family, has friends who love and respect him. He is happy.

The other brother has always felt like he was a victim, sites his poor childhood experiences as the reason for his poor decisions in life. His wife has left him, he has alienated many of his friends. He is bitter, he doesn't see how his actions have brought him to this place in his life.

Now, which brother do you identify with? Which would you rather be? Both had the same beginning in life. But they are on very different paths, simply because of how they decided to deal with the events in their lives.

You can thrive if you choose to. Or not. It always comes down to choice.

The Devil's in the Details

It all started a couple years ago when a friend bought Nick a kids bow and arrow set for his birthday as a gag. Despite the fact that the bow was more suited for a 7 year old, we all had fun that night and many nights since.

This past July Nicks brother bought him a shiny compound bow, arrows, release, target, wax and tips. Needless to say I've lost my husband to archery.

Yesterday my husband bought me my very own left handed compound bow with all the needed accessories. We've spent the last two days standing side by side shooting at the target and trying to best each other. It's great that the two of us have a hobby we both enjoy and can share.

I went to visit my brother today to get some advice and tips. Rene is an avid hunter and was huge into archery for a while. He was able to show me a few things regarding my posture and stance (Horse stance Khona! You should know this, horse stance!). Despite being absent from Kung Fu for over ten years he remembers that at least.

So, I start shooting more accurately, getting a bit cocky. I forget to mind the details. The bow reminds me, the string grazes my arm upon release and I have the most wicked looking welt along the length of my forearm. I yelp, my brother laughs at me. He had told me to relax that arm, after all.

What is the point? The details are what will make or break you. You need to pay attention to what your body is telling you before your body slaps you in the face and says enough. Heel out, toes down, hips square, shoulders relaxed, all of it is important. I had tightened my grip, it turned my arm in, the string found its own target. Simple. Details details details.

Oh, and yes. Those are my arrows you're looking at. *Polishes nails on shirt*

It is ok to nap (Right Ma?)

I have something to confess. It's something I've only ever spoken to my mom about, and only because she admitted to it first.

My favourite part of the day is when I get to go to bed.

I've never wanted to admit that. Why does this weigh on my conscience so much? Because I'm supposed to be some gun ho go get 'em type person, pursuing mastery and such. But I love going to bed, snuggling up against my fluffy pillow, burrowing deep into the sheets, sinking into the soft-yet-supporting mattress. My bed is six feet behind me now and it's calling my name. Softly, determinedly.

So, I'm accepting it. No, I'm not going to try to change it. Try changing your favorite color, it just doesn't work that way.

I love bedtime. It's wonderful and makes me happy.

Appreciation

This past weekend was one that really emphasized how fortunate we are to live where we do, as we do. The parade on Saturday was epic. The crowd was positive and energetic and the group of people I walked the parade with are all extraordinary. As Sifu Brinker often mentions, to think of all that had to happen to bring us all together at that specific point in time, at that specific location.

Then later to have the freedom to pick berries, to bake bread and muffins, and to share these goodies with my neighbours and friends. To stay up and listen to the bugs and watch the bats and chat with my husband about nothing at all.

Sunday was about celebrating the birthdays of my husband, my sister-in-law and my niece. A family get together with copious amounts of food and sunshine. I had the opportunity to draw penguins with my youngest niece and talk with my older brother, to look at the blooming lilies with my mother.

I'm a bit of a science geek and originally went to university to study astronomy. The vastness of the universe is unfathomable and the idea hooked me at a young age. To look up and see so many stars and know they are so far away that many no longer exist by the time you see their light. To know that in all that space there are so many events occurring that we never think about, planets and galaxies colliding, stars being born and burning out, the endless space between an endless number of stars in an endless number of galaxies.

And in all that the idea that I exist, here and now with all of you. It's unfathomable. And I am grateful.

Sincerity

Many things in life seem out of your control and sometimes can become overwhelming. It happens to everyone, and no matter how rough you think you have it or how busy you think you are it all still boils down to you and what you do with it all. The one thing I have found that makes the difference is sincerity.

It was mentioned Friday about trying to walk that fine line between reaching out for teammates and harassing the missing individuals. I firmly believe the difference between the two is sincerity. If you truly believe in the system and the importance of having a whole and healthy team, reaching out to missing team members should be a natural and logical act. If you believe in the difference one individual can make then when you reach out to them you should be able to find the vocabulary needed and the passion that can inspire.

This concept works across the board. You need to be sincere in your reasons for joining the IHC, for trying to advance your skill and for striving for the rank of black. If you are concerned with the belt or the recognition or the glory then you're on the wrong path, and as harsh as this sounds, you are not cut out for the rank. If you are striving to prove to those around you that you are better then you're missing the point and you will always be limited in body and mind. If you understand that the rank represents more than the time spent training or the level of physical skill you've acquired, you'll understand why so few people make the rank. And you'll understand that the standards set for the rank are more than hoops or a yard stick. The character of the individual is more important than the physical skill or the time put in. If you sincerely want to better yourself and the world around you then you have what it takes. And yes, that is what is expected. And that is what mastery is about.

The I Ho Chuan is just a program designed to spell things out for you. The requirements are not new, not unreasonable. Its all just been put down on paper to make the process easier for up and coming people. Yes, easier. It embodies what it takes to achieve the rank of black. What it has always taken. And it is simple- if you are sincere about bettering yourself as an individual then doing thousands of pushups and blogging regularly and attending classes just makes sense.

Brilliant Experiences

Even though I wasn't there for the majority, Bootcamp was pretty awesome. I carry the bruises on my forearms as a testament to the Wing Chung seminar and my wrist still rings from the broadsword seminar. Cool stuff.

It sounds like Sifu Brinkers seminar on Chi Cultivation was a hit. I'm not surprised. Although I'm reminded that it takes much more than one seminar to make use of the knowledge you gain. Something simple and well known but something that took me a long time to figure out nonetheless.

So bootcamp is over for the year. What do you do? I'll tell ya- keep the lessons fresh, keep the memories fresh. That way the experience will continue to carry you through to the next great experience. Perhaps an encounter with a giant beachball?

Boo yeah.

Life's Ruff (Get it?)

Ever since the weather became nice enough to go outside without a snowsuit I've been trying to get multiple project done. So much to do, both around the yard and for kung fu. Seems that no matter how hard a burn the candle I don't seem to make much progress.

I don't want to be that guy who pushes too hard too fast and ends up with a worse injury, but I feel like I'm at the point where I need to start pushing a bit outside the safety zone. And I am well aware that a couple of you are cringing right now. But I feel like I'm getting into a hole that I'm not going to get out of. Unless I start pushing it.

I had grand plans for this year, have made grand promises. I need to see them through. Period.

On the other hand, I'm burning out. I'm trying to be mindful like a good little martial artist, but I find myself running from one commitment to another, trying to find time to be home and help there, all while trying to help those around me with whatever comes up. Yesterday afternoon after spending the day in the city I tried to shake it off and be mindful, if just for a moment. So I saddled up Chloe (i.e. put her collar on) and took her for a walk, trying to appreciate the weather and the birds and the breeze. It worked, until I got home and saw the weeds taking over the garden and the grass that needed cutting and the floor that needed vacuuming and the dishes that needed doing. Mindfulness gone.

I'm not meaning to complain, I enjoy what I'm doing. How many people get to teach their "hobby" daily, or take their dogs to work everyday and hang out with their parents while getting paid?

I'm just... tired.

Greetings from a Campsite

I'm currently sitting in the middle of a bush surrounded by my dogs and mosquitos and I'm still thinking about the Pandamonium. So many people who pulled together to see it succeed, spending their day cooking or doing forms or, like Ms.Gibbons, sitting in the shade enjoying the festivities.

I never regret taking the time off to come up here with our friends but I find myself wondering how the buzz in the Kwoon feels right now. Is everyone still pumped? Does it feel great? I know events like the Pandamonium can act like a kick start so I'm curious as to the awesome things that might be happening.

Square One

I hate writing these types of posts, but they're supposed to be whats going on with me, right? So this is what is going on with me.

On Sunday I had a disagreement with a horse and the horse won. Literally. I had the option of being thrown into a barbwire fence or bailing, so I bailed. I'm not sure what happened, but I managed to save my shoulder, no harm there. But after an emergency room trip yesterday morning I know I've damaged most of the muscles in my left leg, specifically my hamstring and whatever muscle runs on the outside of the thigh. Outer quad? I don't know but I can tell you exactly where it is.

Doc figures I also impacted the site where the muscle connects to the bone, doing damage there. Honestly, I'm more concerned about my knee- she's swollen and hurts like stink when I twist it or put any weight on with without it being locked first.

Ah well. Saved my shoulder...

I've had my share of emergency room visits. I'm a clumsy fool. My husband has learned to live with a perpetually injured wife. He's threatened to buy me a wheelchair for my 35th. And at the rate I'm going...

One kinda cool thing- I now know that I broke my tailbone when I was younger. The X-rays yesterday showed a broken tailbone, but the ends of the bone were worn smooth like an old injury. I knew I had hurt it years ago, but didn't have a clue that it was broken.

Life goes on. At least I have an excuse to hang out with my cancer patient dog. Jill and I have been living relaxed for the last two days, lying around watching movies and hobbling around the yard without actually doing any yard work, just enjoying the birds and breeze. We don't move that fast and it seems that life has slowed down to our pace now. It's nice, actually.

So where do I stand with my training? Well, I think about it all the time. It's getting harder and harder to do much more than that. But I do what I can. I managed a pretty sweet right shoulder roll Sunday, although the break fall could have been better...

Perseverance and right attitude. People don't place enough emphasis on these two characteristics. They are game changers.

Many of you have heard about the difficulties we had on our way down to Alabama and on the way home. We were nearly blocked at customs in Edmonton simply because the custom officers did not believe we were traveling on our own dime to help a community full of people we did not know. It is sad to say that we were met with suspicion, that good deeds are not the norm and therefore those who perform them are not trusted.

I'm getting on a tangent. Sorry about that.

Anyways, difficulty down, difficulty back. When we missed our connection in Los Angeles I was mad. We had done everything we could to ensure we would make it, talked to the right people and tried to double check the gate we needed. Didn't pan out that way. Oh well, we talked to the right people again and got ourselves on a later plane home.

As my dad was driving me home after picking me up at the airport three hours later than we originally thought I was still a bit miffed. Then my dad broke the news to me that my Oma had fallen and broken her hip while she was walking to my parents house. The thing is, my Oma lives in St. Albert and my parents live about fifty kilometres away. All of a sudden that plane fiasco was minor and inconsequential. Now she needs surgery. Being ninety two, surgery is a big deal.

So I spent the day after I got back in the Misericordia hospital. Talking to my Oma was rough. She has Alzheimers and she's losing her English, reverting back to German. She is having hard time following the conversations between all of us and the doctor. She does not know why she is there, but what she does understand is that she is in a hospital and her family is there.

At one point in time it is just the two of us there. She says to me you all think I am dying. Thats okay, I am just happy you are all here. My ninety two year old Oma thinks she is dying and is only thinking about how happy she is that we are there.

The following evening I finally have a chance to talk to Nick. After talking about the trip and my Oma he breaks the news to me that our dog has been diagnosed with cancer and has only a year or so left. My heart hit the floor.

I remember thinking what the h was going on?

After we talked about our options for a while, I started watching our dog. There she is, lying on her bed completely oblivious to the fact that she is dying. She noticed that I was looking at her, caught my eye and came over to me. She started licking my hands and rubbing her face into my lap. I pet her for a while and she went back to her bed for a second nap.

Funny thing is, as I was typing that I broke down. Jill just did the exact same thing; came over, licked my hands and put her head in my lap. She's already back asleep by the bed.

Despite having cancer, that dog is happy. I firmly believe that even if she could understand what was happening to her she would still be happy. I know of no one else who can live in the moment better than a dog. And this moment, here, now, that is what matters most. Heck, I'd wager that dog is going to double her current prognosis just because she doesn't know that she is supposed to die.

So I have two old gals in my life, both of which have taught me invaluable lessons this past week. None of the negative matters when you choose to focus on the positive. Of course, this doesn't mean the negatives do not exist or do not require your attention. But it sure does make the load easier to bear.

I Never Would Have Thought...

So we're home. I've had so many great experiences that I don't know where to start- customs and missed flights, the incredible world class people who made us lunch and rolled on the mats, the chance to help a community, getting to know the locals.

I think this trip is going to be the stem of many future posts, some with hero's and villains and others with just great stories.

This post however, I want to first say thank you to everyone that I've met over the last week, thank you to the three of you I traveled with and lived next to, thank you to everyone who made such life changing experiences possible. I asked myself where am I and what am I doing so many times this last week, and I was stunned with the answers I would give myself.

I am beside a Samuel Mockbee building working side-by-side with four successful martial art school owners.
I am in rural Alabama being taught to ride a Ripboard by a mennonite girl.
I am in a church in Greensboro talking to a pro fighter about software.
I am in a building where bikes are made from bamboo learning simple electrical.
I am in a kitchen listening to Julia Butterfly Hill talk about Luna and the car accidents she recently had.
I am in Selma walking across the Edmund Pettus Bridge with Keshia Thomas.
I am in Pam Dorr's home making pancakes.

I am still stunned.

Every morning after we were woken up by Master Callos I tried to ground myself. I would think what would Sifu Brinker say? He would say something about how incredible it is that we are here, now, in this building. How many little things had to happen to place us in that building at that point in time with that group of people. How incredible is life?

I am still stunned and I am forever grateful for the experiences.

Just an FYI

Long over due update. I've been feeling like a jerk, specifically when I'm watching all my classmates rolling around and working their butts off and I'm standing on the sidelines watching or behind the desk making notes. Or, when I ask someone else to demonstrate something or to help out with something while I watch.

Sorry guys, I promise I'm not sitting out just because I can or because I want to. I got some bad news regarding my shoulder the week before last. I waltz into the appointment thinking that I've made some awesome progress and that all I need are some exercises to strengthen it back up. I thought the grinding and clunking that was going on was just due to imbalance in the muscles. I feel no pain when it grinds and there is no rhyme or reason when it does. Apparently the joint has completely destabilized, it's not holding itself together like it should and bad stuff is resulting. My doctor did give me some exercises to do, so if you see me wandering around with an elastic in my hands thats why. She told me to hope like crazy that the exercises work because otherwise I'll need surgery to place a pin in my shoulder to stabilize the joint. She told me its a nasty surgery, but it's my only option if I can't straighten it out with my muscles.

So now I'm paranoid, more than when I was immediately after my oopsies. I am paranoid that I'll never get full ability back, which is very possible. Who am I kidding, it is very probable.

I'm whining about all this so people know that I'm not disinterested or unwilling to work with them. I'm just scared, I feel like hissing at anyone who wanders too close to my left side. If I'm reluctant to help you, it is not because I don't care. I just don't know what is going to make things worse. I feel guilty, but this is where I'm at. Don't stop asking me for help though, I'm learning my limits and there is still much I can do. If everyone stops approaching me it'll just make me feel more like a jerk.

Newton's Third Law

I've been doing a lot of thinking, trying to relate two lessons- patience, trust and progressing wisely vs. out of the kwoon and into the world.

The first is always instantly related to our lessons in class. Have trust in your instructors and your ability, do not try to progress to quickly but always challenge yourself, have patience in your training. I'm learning how this lesson extends beyond all of that. Tough situations will always creep into your life, and how you deal with these situations will determine who you are and where you are going. Experience has taught me two things- snap decisions made during the heat of the moment will usually be detrimental, made with raw emotion rather than wisdom. Second, ignoring a situation doesn't make it go away, it creates festering resentment or bias. It seems to be a fine line between the two, trying to find the right balance of action and relinquishment is not easy.

Acting and not reacting takes patience, with yourself and with the situation. Look at your role in the issue, what would make it better and where are you at fault. Be honest. When you come to a decision you have to have trust in yourself that it is the right decision and to follow through but first, always first, think it through with a clear head. Placing your trust in the wrong decision is, well, bad. Move ahead using wisdom instead of emotion. The world will always throw curve balls at you. Use them as opportunities to grow and develop.

From the Silent River Kung Fu Code of Ethics-

Act with integrity and honor while maintaining respect for all living beings.

Accept responsibility for their actions and mistakes, learn from the past, and prepare for the future.

Lesson Learned

I feel that I have been extraordinarily fortunate thus far in life. I have the opportunity to learn from anyone I choose, to learn anything I choose. I have not been met by the barriers many so many others encounter in life. I have the opportunity to learn and whats more, the opportunity to teach what I have been taught by others, to help extend and advance the knowledge.

I have been studying and teaching for most of my life. Sadly, much of this time I feel has been wasted for I have not come close to meeting my potential. This time however has given me the opportunity to observe and think. I have learned from countless people, many who don't even realize that they have taught me. I remember classes in Onoway where the youngest student was three years old, and he taught me more about natural motion than any of my formal instructors. I remember learning Tai Chi from Sifu Brinker and realizing the potential of energy over strength, although I couldn't formalize it into words at the time. I remember people who would snub me as an instructor, who taught me the limits of a closed mind.

No two people think alike, no two people have the same experiences. This also means that every single person has something they can teach you. Do not limit your instructors, do not limit yourself. However when you compare yourself to the person next to you it is near impossible to keep egotistical or damaging emotions out of the equation. It is sometimes hard, emotions are a powerful influence and they can sneak into any situation. Don't get me wrong, emotions are important tools and absolutely necessary for any type of advancement. Emotions can be strong motivators, however they can be an equally strong inhibitors. You can learn from anyone- the instructor in front of you, the student in front of you, the student beside you, the instructor beside you. The man beside you in the grocery store, the woman across from you on the bus. Each with a different lesson.

So Long and Thanks for All the Fish

I've been so used to being on the IHC team that now that I'm not I'm a bit confused. It's the first time since the change in the program. I think to myself alrighty, it's time to get busy again and get my weapon form together, get cracking on my hand form, reset my logs. Oh, wait.

I am not on the team this year, however I have ambitions for this year I hope to accomplish none the less. Big ones too. I have several projects that I had listed in my requirements from previous years that I plan to set to right away. One being a big, ominous one that I have no idea where to start. I've also bribed Sifu Brandi Beckett into teaching me one of her forms before summer, bribed Mr. Repay to teach me the double chucks and plan to bribe Sifu Melanie Beckett into teaching me her Dragon/Tiger form.

That has a ring to it, eh? Sifu Melanie Beckett and Sifu Robert Tymchuk. Congratulations you two, and welcome to the fold. We're stronger with you two, no doubt about it.

I am not quitting the IHC. I am not a formal member, but I will be there with you all the entire way. You have not gotten rid of me so easily. I've always found that watching classes can be extremely informative and helpful in my own training, and this year is my chance to watch and learn from a new perspective.

The Sweet Taste of Dust...

This has been a long, rough year, one that I am happy to see over. Of course there were highs along the way, but you tend to overlook them in light of the negative. It's a fault to do so, but it happens none the less.

The one thing I have learned this year is the influence of attitude is everything. It shades everything that happens; it can either leave you jaded or give you rose coloured glasses. A change in attitude can change your perspective. And perspective is everything.

It's easy to see in others- I see students that are held back by nothing than their own attitude and students excel because of their attitude. I know people who are happy and content despite bad things that happen to them. I see people with beautiful families, who are surrounded by loving people who do nothing but complain. It's easy to see, even easier to make judgement, but it is hard to see it in yourself and even harder to change it when you do.

Several situations in my life have been a challenge. I've been encouraged to have a positive attitude, think positive, be positive. For the most part I succeed, but there have been times where I would break. Thankfully, I have the tools and ability now to recognize the folly in this and the strength to pick my butt up out of the dust and trudge on. I may not have met many of my goals, I may have stumbled too many times to count, but the fact that I'm still moving forward is testament to the power of a good attitude adjustment. Without this lesson I don't know where I'd be, I just I know I wouldn't be where I am. Probably face down in the dust somewhere.

Recognize your attitude, good or bad, and recognize its ability to make or destroy. No one can change it but yourself.

Profound Statement About Lemons

I find that this time of year is one of my favourites as well as one that causes me a lot of anxiety. The upcoming festivities and performances are something I always look forward to, along with the time dedicated to it prior. Practices always get the place buzzing; you can't miss the energy when so many people pull together to accomplish something.

However there are always moments that you can feel everything pushing back. Anxiety happens, and it's how you deal with this anxiety that will determine how you feel about the pressure. Remember, we're all on the same team. Part of mastery is recognizing pressure for what is it- a tool you can use to become better. I'm reminded about Mr. Sands post about fight or flight and recognizing these are not the only two options.

I like the push. More specifically, I like seeing everyone grow from the push. Multiple late night practices have the ability to turn into sour experiences, but they also have the ability to turn us into a fine tuned, inspiring team. After the banquet every year everyone agrees that is was all worth the work and the time. So I promise you, it will be worth it to you in the end.

Make the choice to grow and thrive from the experience. You won't regret it.

Blame Jim. All Jim's Fault.

New years is a mixed blessing in my opinion. It really reiterates how fast time moves and how fast time can get away from you. It shows you how close those looming deadlines and endlines and newlines are. But it also gives you the feeling of new beginnings and new opportunities. Which I find ironic- it's not like those opportunities did not exist the day before.

It is so easy to push off things until tomorrow. So easy to think about how busy you already are. But this morning, as I was making my first cup of joe, I was thinking about this and realized something- despite how busy I am or how rushed or if I need to be somewhere soon I make the time to make my coffee. Key words being make the time. I did not have the time as I had slept in, my kitty and I were too cozy. I blame him, I didn't want to disturb him. And yet, I managed to not only make my coffee but also feed the dogs, brush my teeth, warm up the car.

It is so easy to make time. So why is it so hard?