Perseverance and right attitude. People don't place enough emphasis on these two characteristics. They are game changers.

Many of you have heard about the difficulties we had on our way down to Alabama and on the way home. We were nearly blocked at customs in Edmonton simply because the custom officers did not believe we were traveling on our own dime to help a community full of people we did not know. It is sad to say that we were met with suspicion, that good deeds are not the norm and therefore those who perform them are not trusted.

I'm getting on a tangent. Sorry about that.

Anyways, difficulty down, difficulty back. When we missed our connection in Los Angeles I was mad. We had done everything we could to ensure we would make it, talked to the right people and tried to double check the gate we needed. Didn't pan out that way. Oh well, we talked to the right people again and got ourselves on a later plane home.

As my dad was driving me home after picking me up at the airport three hours later than we originally thought I was still a bit miffed. Then my dad broke the news to me that my Oma had fallen and broken her hip while she was walking to my parents house. The thing is, my Oma lives in St. Albert and my parents live about fifty kilometres away. All of a sudden that plane fiasco was minor and inconsequential. Now she needs surgery. Being ninety two, surgery is a big deal.

So I spent the day after I got back in the Misericordia hospital. Talking to my Oma was rough. She has Alzheimers and she's losing her English, reverting back to German. She is having hard time following the conversations between all of us and the doctor. She does not know why she is there, but what she does understand is that she is in a hospital and her family is there.

At one point in time it is just the two of us there. She says to me you all think I am dying. Thats okay, I am just happy you are all here. My ninety two year old Oma thinks she is dying and is only thinking about how happy she is that we are there.

The following evening I finally have a chance to talk to Nick. After talking about the trip and my Oma he breaks the news to me that our dog has been diagnosed with cancer and has only a year or so left. My heart hit the floor.

I remember thinking what the h was going on?

After we talked about our options for a while, I started watching our dog. There she is, lying on her bed completely oblivious to the fact that she is dying. She noticed that I was looking at her, caught my eye and came over to me. She started licking my hands and rubbing her face into my lap. I pet her for a while and she went back to her bed for a second nap.

Funny thing is, as I was typing that I broke down. Jill just did the exact same thing; came over, licked my hands and put her head in my lap. She's already back asleep by the bed.

Despite having cancer, that dog is happy. I firmly believe that even if she could understand what was happening to her she would still be happy. I know of no one else who can live in the moment better than a dog. And this moment, here, now, that is what matters most. Heck, I'd wager that dog is going to double her current prognosis just because she doesn't know that she is supposed to die.

So I have two old gals in my life, both of which have taught me invaluable lessons this past week. None of the negative matters when you choose to focus on the positive. Of course, this doesn't mean the negatives do not exist or do not require your attention. But it sure does make the load easier to bear.

I Never Would Have Thought...

So we're home. I've had so many great experiences that I don't know where to start- customs and missed flights, the incredible world class people who made us lunch and rolled on the mats, the chance to help a community, getting to know the locals.

I think this trip is going to be the stem of many future posts, some with hero's and villains and others with just great stories.

This post however, I want to first say thank you to everyone that I've met over the last week, thank you to the three of you I traveled with and lived next to, thank you to everyone who made such life changing experiences possible. I asked myself where am I and what am I doing so many times this last week, and I was stunned with the answers I would give myself.

I am beside a Samuel Mockbee building working side-by-side with four successful martial art school owners.
I am in rural Alabama being taught to ride a Ripboard by a mennonite girl.
I am in a church in Greensboro talking to a pro fighter about software.
I am in a building where bikes are made from bamboo learning simple electrical.
I am in a kitchen listening to Julia Butterfly Hill talk about Luna and the car accidents she recently had.
I am in Selma walking across the Edmund Pettus Bridge with Keshia Thomas.
I am in Pam Dorr's home making pancakes.

I am still stunned.

Every morning after we were woken up by Master Callos I tried to ground myself. I would think what would Sifu Brinker say? He would say something about how incredible it is that we are here, now, in this building. How many little things had to happen to place us in that building at that point in time with that group of people. How incredible is life?

I am still stunned and I am forever grateful for the experiences.

Just an FYI

Long over due update. I've been feeling like a jerk, specifically when I'm watching all my classmates rolling around and working their butts off and I'm standing on the sidelines watching or behind the desk making notes. Or, when I ask someone else to demonstrate something or to help out with something while I watch.

Sorry guys, I promise I'm not sitting out just because I can or because I want to. I got some bad news regarding my shoulder the week before last. I waltz into the appointment thinking that I've made some awesome progress and that all I need are some exercises to strengthen it back up. I thought the grinding and clunking that was going on was just due to imbalance in the muscles. I feel no pain when it grinds and there is no rhyme or reason when it does. Apparently the joint has completely destabilized, it's not holding itself together like it should and bad stuff is resulting. My doctor did give me some exercises to do, so if you see me wandering around with an elastic in my hands thats why. She told me to hope like crazy that the exercises work because otherwise I'll need surgery to place a pin in my shoulder to stabilize the joint. She told me its a nasty surgery, but it's my only option if I can't straighten it out with my muscles.

So now I'm paranoid, more than when I was immediately after my oopsies. I am paranoid that I'll never get full ability back, which is very possible. Who am I kidding, it is very probable.

I'm whining about all this so people know that I'm not disinterested or unwilling to work with them. I'm just scared, I feel like hissing at anyone who wanders too close to my left side. If I'm reluctant to help you, it is not because I don't care. I just don't know what is going to make things worse. I feel guilty, but this is where I'm at. Don't stop asking me for help though, I'm learning my limits and there is still much I can do. If everyone stops approaching me it'll just make me feel more like a jerk.

Newton's Third Law

I've been doing a lot of thinking, trying to relate two lessons- patience, trust and progressing wisely vs. out of the kwoon and into the world.

The first is always instantly related to our lessons in class. Have trust in your instructors and your ability, do not try to progress to quickly but always challenge yourself, have patience in your training. I'm learning how this lesson extends beyond all of that. Tough situations will always creep into your life, and how you deal with these situations will determine who you are and where you are going. Experience has taught me two things- snap decisions made during the heat of the moment will usually be detrimental, made with raw emotion rather than wisdom. Second, ignoring a situation doesn't make it go away, it creates festering resentment or bias. It seems to be a fine line between the two, trying to find the right balance of action and relinquishment is not easy.

Acting and not reacting takes patience, with yourself and with the situation. Look at your role in the issue, what would make it better and where are you at fault. Be honest. When you come to a decision you have to have trust in yourself that it is the right decision and to follow through but first, always first, think it through with a clear head. Placing your trust in the wrong decision is, well, bad. Move ahead using wisdom instead of emotion. The world will always throw curve balls at you. Use them as opportunities to grow and develop.

From the Silent River Kung Fu Code of Ethics-

Act with integrity and honor while maintaining respect for all living beings.

Accept responsibility for their actions and mistakes, learn from the past, and prepare for the future.

Lesson Learned

I feel that I have been extraordinarily fortunate thus far in life. I have the opportunity to learn from anyone I choose, to learn anything I choose. I have not been met by the barriers many so many others encounter in life. I have the opportunity to learn and whats more, the opportunity to teach what I have been taught by others, to help extend and advance the knowledge.

I have been studying and teaching for most of my life. Sadly, much of this time I feel has been wasted for I have not come close to meeting my potential. This time however has given me the opportunity to observe and think. I have learned from countless people, many who don't even realize that they have taught me. I remember classes in Onoway where the youngest student was three years old, and he taught me more about natural motion than any of my formal instructors. I remember learning Tai Chi from Sifu Brinker and realizing the potential of energy over strength, although I couldn't formalize it into words at the time. I remember people who would snub me as an instructor, who taught me the limits of a closed mind.

No two people think alike, no two people have the same experiences. This also means that every single person has something they can teach you. Do not limit your instructors, do not limit yourself. However when you compare yourself to the person next to you it is near impossible to keep egotistical or damaging emotions out of the equation. It is sometimes hard, emotions are a powerful influence and they can sneak into any situation. Don't get me wrong, emotions are important tools and absolutely necessary for any type of advancement. Emotions can be strong motivators, however they can be an equally strong inhibitors. You can learn from anyone- the instructor in front of you, the student in front of you, the student beside you, the instructor beside you. The man beside you in the grocery store, the woman across from you on the bus. Each with a different lesson.

So Long and Thanks for All the Fish

I've been so used to being on the IHC team that now that I'm not I'm a bit confused. It's the first time since the change in the program. I think to myself alrighty, it's time to get busy again and get my weapon form together, get cracking on my hand form, reset my logs. Oh, wait.

I am not on the team this year, however I have ambitions for this year I hope to accomplish none the less. Big ones too. I have several projects that I had listed in my requirements from previous years that I plan to set to right away. One being a big, ominous one that I have no idea where to start. I've also bribed Sifu Brandi Beckett into teaching me one of her forms before summer, bribed Mr. Repay to teach me the double chucks and plan to bribe Sifu Melanie Beckett into teaching me her Dragon/Tiger form.

That has a ring to it, eh? Sifu Melanie Beckett and Sifu Robert Tymchuk. Congratulations you two, and welcome to the fold. We're stronger with you two, no doubt about it.

I am not quitting the IHC. I am not a formal member, but I will be there with you all the entire way. You have not gotten rid of me so easily. I've always found that watching classes can be extremely informative and helpful in my own training, and this year is my chance to watch and learn from a new perspective.

The Sweet Taste of Dust...

This has been a long, rough year, one that I am happy to see over. Of course there were highs along the way, but you tend to overlook them in light of the negative. It's a fault to do so, but it happens none the less.

The one thing I have learned this year is the influence of attitude is everything. It shades everything that happens; it can either leave you jaded or give you rose coloured glasses. A change in attitude can change your perspective. And perspective is everything.

It's easy to see in others- I see students that are held back by nothing than their own attitude and students excel because of their attitude. I know people who are happy and content despite bad things that happen to them. I see people with beautiful families, who are surrounded by loving people who do nothing but complain. It's easy to see, even easier to make judgement, but it is hard to see it in yourself and even harder to change it when you do.

Several situations in my life have been a challenge. I've been encouraged to have a positive attitude, think positive, be positive. For the most part I succeed, but there have been times where I would break. Thankfully, I have the tools and ability now to recognize the folly in this and the strength to pick my butt up out of the dust and trudge on. I may not have met many of my goals, I may have stumbled too many times to count, but the fact that I'm still moving forward is testament to the power of a good attitude adjustment. Without this lesson I don't know where I'd be, I just I know I wouldn't be where I am. Probably face down in the dust somewhere.

Recognize your attitude, good or bad, and recognize its ability to make or destroy. No one can change it but yourself.