Together

Last night during the 2nd degree brown belt class I was listening to the lesson Sifu Brinker was giving. I was not participating in the class but I always had an ear on what was going on. He mentioned to the two guys there that every one of us with a black belt around our waists had gone through and passed the fitness test, and that none of us had done it alone. So true.

I can only vaguely remember the events leading to my grading and I remember even less of the day. But I very clearly remember the day my Sifu Freitag came up to me and gave me the push I needed to make it my goal. I remember working with my good friend and grading mate Sifu Olsvik on our 5 techniques and our forms. I remember being motivated and encouraged by Sifu’s Kim & Kylee Hayes when I just wanted to quit during the test.

Point is, no one gets through their grading day or grading year alone. There are countless others who, in some form or another, help you through the process. This is not a weakness; on the contrary, it is what makes us strong enough to be successful. During the year there is a whole team of people who, although not grading themselves, are rooting for you and willing to help in any way they can. On the day there is a room full of people there only for you, with no other agenda and no reward for themselves except seeing you succeed.

This is how it is every day from the moment you walk in and sign up to the moment, well, indefinitely (I haven’t found the end yet). It’s rare to find a place where everyone is on your side, a community where we all pull in the same direction and for each other.

I also remember laying on the floor in by bedroom every night and completing 150 push-ups, 150 sit-ups and 150 leg lifts before bed. This was the hardest part for me, finding the motivation to lie down on the cold floor instead of crawling into my warm bed. Hard because I was alone in my task. This was before the I Ho Chuan and the knowledge that there is a whole team of people doing the same thing with me. Take advantage of the strength of the team and make sure we’re all moving forward together. Then things become clear, simple, and (perish the thought!) maybe even fun.

Reflection

I know that I have never been the best at blogging or journaling. During the meeting yesterday I was listening to people talking about blogging and the benefits, and although I have never managed a year without missing a blog I can’t deny the benefits, even of my limited engagement. Several times this last month I would think about blogging. I knew what I wanted to write about but I never took the time to sit down and do it. And now I don’t know what I wanted to say and that is a loss. Part of my journey is now gone and I won’t be able to get it back, share it or reflect on it when I get stuck.

Every day is a new opportunity.

Reality vs. The Ideal Life

A notable effect, or maybe the cause, of my recent lifestyle changes is reading. I’m reading more than I have in the past few years. I’m making the time where before I felt like taking the time was a waste. The difference definitely what and why I’m reading; not for amusement but for education. The types of books I’m delving into are not fiction. They are guides, experiences and the scary truth.

The latest is causing chaos in my head. Some of you may have heard of it but “Slow Death by Rubber Duck” is sitting beside me on my nightstand, looming and foreboding. I always waved off the idea of chemicals in our lives, reasoning that there are organizations and governmental bodies to protect us. That, and it was just me. I didn’t put much thought into it.

Strangely enough, just a few days before delving into this book I was wondering what exactly is autism? Wonder what causes it? I know there are no definite answers, but even the uneducated me could logic my way to a general answer. Environmental factors are a major difference between “then” and now. If you are born with autism or ADHD or allergies or asthma then something beyond parenting is to blame. Something before birth.

I’m feeling guilt for getting on this wagon so late in the game. How many chemicals that I waved off in my life got passed into my unborn kids? Will they affect them? Have they already? Carter already shows signs of seasonal allergies (which I have); did I unknowingly do that to him? Maybe they are behind in speech because of something I allowed them to be exposed to, either through me as they grew in my belly, or maybe that I fed them, gave them, allowed them to chew on? What is hindering their development? Could I have prevented it?

I know the saying, the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. My fear is that the damage is done and had I planted that tree earlier, it could have been avoided.

The Side Effects

Mindfulness goes hand-in-hand with mastery. What you put in your body, how you spend your time. My newest quest has had an not surprising yet unexpected effect- mindfulness. I've become acutely aware of not just what I'm putting into my body but what comes into my home. It's like the vegetarian challenge, only for my house.

Along with mindfulness is awareness. I was blissfully ignorant. And it's devastating when you see exactly how wasteful our culture is. Mindlessly wasteful. It's not like we are all aware and choosing the path anyways. We don't even realize it. We are so accustomed to buying, unwrapping, throwing away it's insane. It’s been habitualized. I'm not just referring to the plastic free produce movement. I'm talking about the half sandwich left on your plate. The "oh, it broke, I'll buy a new one" moments. The excessive number or shirts we all own but don't wear, the 6 spatulas we each have but only use the favourite one, the 12 different Phillip screwdrivers, the latest fashion we must keep with, the newest device we feel we need. Buying, buying, buying things.

Another effect has been the emotional impact. I never thought I’d become so emotionally invested, becoming more and more driven to see this through. I’m thrilled at the changes I’ve made and I feel pride in my accomplishments. However, I feel devastated by how driven we are as a culture by consumerism. Sorrow at our mindless actions and negative impact. Anger at the greed that convinces us to fill our lives with unfulfilling things.

I have a long ways to go. I’m thankful that my husband gets it, is changing and accepting change. But we still have so far to go.

Love people. Use things. The opposite never works. -Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus

Garbology

With the recent changes in our house I’ve found myself creating new habits. The biggest is how I view the garbage can; its taken on a new meaning, almost becoming a monster lurking in the corner. I can’t look at it without thinking of what I am trying to accomplish and how far I have yet to go. I see it as a dark stain, and ugly scar in my home. In short, I’ve began to see it in a negative light instead of neutrally, as I had my entire life until now. It’s taken on a life all its own.

I would like to extend a simple challenge. Keep track of how many times in a day you throw something into the trash. Keep a running tally. When I started becoming aware I couldn’t believe the frequency. And I had been living like that my whole life! Now, say to yourself “I am choosing to throw this in a landfill”. Don’t say “just toss it” or “throw it away”. Say “landfill”. Changes the whole game, doesn’t it?

Rat Pack

I’ve been thinking hard about my requirements for next years team. I have to admit many of my personal requirements have not been met, and with some analysis I can say it is because most are not a priority. They’re love to’s, one day’s and would be cool’s. The few that were important to me, such as putting away savings for the kids, saw the most success.

To rectify this, my goals next year need to be pertinent in my life now, not just in my ideal life of ample time and comfort. I’ve started by breaking down the three areas I need to focus on; myself personally, my family and my community. Little ones have managed to completely change how I think and what my priorities are. I think with this perspective meeting my goals won’t be easy, but will become priority and not left on a back burner.

Personal- My example in this area will set a standard for my kids on the importance of self. Big responsibility, therefore I will stop procrastinating, make appointments and take the time to go to them. Schedule and keep dentist appointments at the frequency they determine necessary. As my chiropractor has moved away, find a new, trusted chiropractor, make and keep appointments at the frequency they determine necessary. I believe this will also work to achieve the third part of this one which is take care of my feet- between the plantars fasciitis and the odd, extremely painful pins and needles sensations I’ve been getting I’m surprised I can walk sometimes. The latter I believe is caused by a pinched nerve in my hip, therefore proper alignment should rectify that.

Family- This will be drastic and yet easy if I succeed. I want to achieve zero waste in my home. I’ve started my journey already by trying to eliminate plastic coming into my home; asking for less at Christmas and birthdays, gifts made from natural materials such as cloth, wood or metal. I’m in the process of changing where and how I shop- mason jars have become my best friends. I’ll need to begin collecting recyclables and make the 30 minute trip to the recycling facility on 43. This will also take research as I haven’t a clue what is or is not recyclable, what types of plastic they take, etc. I’ve began to purge my home, eliminating anything unused, unneeded or unwanted in an effort to simplify and declutter. I need to analyze each area of my home and each aspect of my life and ask myself, is this going to benefit us or hinder us? All this simply because two tiny humans came along and if I’m going to raise them I want to raise them with compassion for their home, the earth.

Community- Nick informed me that once upon a time our small summer village had a recycling program. It has since been discontinued, sometime before I moved in with Nick. I want to rectify this, in my opinion, poor decision by our council. So what will this look like? Research- I noticed on our village website we are told to “train ourselves” to use the facility on Hwy 43. So, looking at the facilities website they mention “working jointly” with several summer villages. Does this mean we’re paying for a service no one knows exists? That is so out of our way no one would use it if we did? Long story short, I need to arm myself with facts and costs and approach our council with a solid proposition to bring back a recycling program to our community.

Things need changing in our lives. Incremental progression will be key. Wait, I’ve heard that somewhere...

A Plastic World

Something has been weighing heavy on my mind. I’ve always been concerned about the state of the environment but since babies I’ve been doubly concerned. And, unfortunately, I’m seeing first hand how easy it is to make the wrong choices and how much my family is impacting things negatively.

I saw a post on Facebook by one of our fellow black belts regarding plastic kids toys. It mentioned that every plastic toy ever made ever is currently sitting in a landfill. That’s insane. Then I look at our living room and realize exactly how much plastic has accumulated in the form of toys. And that all of that will be in a landfill.

When shopping for your kids or someone else’s birthday I never considered things from this point of view, just whether they will enjoy or learn from what I give them. I’ve recently bought these cute cupcakes for Sydney where the tops come off, each a different colour and each fitting together differently. She loves this type of thing and I thought she’d enjoy it while learning about shapes. But, its plastic. It will eventually find its way to a landfill.

So, I want to change this. What is done is done, I won’t waste this toy now. And I will do my best to pass it on. But from now on I want to only purchase toys and things that are from renewable resources; wood, cloth, etc. I will not refuse used plastic toys as it is better to reuse existing things. But, with Christmas around the corner, I will be asking friends and family to avoid plastic things if they want to give something to my babies. Then I can help reduce our impact and, hopefully, make others think.