Crunch Time

It's the start of the busy season I've noticed. Posts going out about practices, the forms seminar is over with the Tiger Challenge coming up, gradings, banquet, practices, practices, practices.

This will be when we excel or not. We have an early banquet to plan and prepare for, with a demo we have not solidified and dances that need to be choreographed and perfected. The pressure will increase but with it so will the benefits and the progress. I for one like this time of year. Not normally when I'm in the thick of it but after, when hindsight is 20/20 and the benefits are clear. This is when we really come together as a team. And, on top of that, this is when we start to plan for the next years challenges. Hope to see you guys on the team next year.

This, That & the Other Thing

So a few things to cover today. Bear with me.

First, the vegetarian challenge. I don't know if I've failed it. By that I mean that I did have meat, but not because I craved it. I cooked a turkey last Monday for my family and during the week it was sitting in the fridge, not moving and not being eaten. I had a choice to either follow the rule of the challenge and let the thing go to waste or to follow the spirit of the challenge and ensure it did not go to waste. So, I made myself a sandwich out of the leftovers. I figured what was the point of the challenge if no real change was being made. Not necessarily to my diet, but to the example I was setting. I mentioned before, I was near this decision anyways because I was beginning to think of the animals instead of the meat. Happy to say it has not gone to waste and is sitting in my fridge reincarnated as soup via my husband.

Next, the cranes for peace project. Sifu Vantuil went above and beyond last year with this project, all accumulating into those couple pictures we saw on kwoon talk. I saw those photos and thought wow. There are our cranes, in Hiroshima, making a statement to the world. So cool. Since then I've started folding cranes again. I went so far as to pick out my 100 pieces of paper in the most awesome scheme ever (ROYGBIV) and have proceeded to fold and string them. I'm currently on green. I'm hoping to get a string back into the kwoon and, with the help of Sifu Vantuil, get the ball rolling again towards this project.

I've committed to the team again for next year. Although I haven't formalized my goals yet I know where I want to go with regards to them. It's the weapon that has me stumped. I'm not big on weapons. I think they look great when others are swinging them around but I've never acquired a taste for them myself. I also have yet to find one that "speaks to me". You can tell when someone finds their weapon- Sifu Robinson with the tonfa, Sifu Krebs with the rope dart, most recently Sifu Lindstrom with the bench. Me? As long as I survive my choice I feel it's a decent year.

Last, forms seminar and upcoming Tiger Challenge. Had a blast on Saturday, it was great to see so many there. It was also great to see the progress made in a couple hours. Goes to show how far someone can go if they used their time well. As for the Tiger Challenge, I'm working my way towards that. I don't know why but I'm consistently skipping over a section of snake any time I perform it. One step makes the difference and I always choose the wrong step. Which means I've never performed the full form to date. Perhaps I can change my record before the month is up.

Getting There

So twice now I've woken up in a panic. The specific of the dreams are unimportant, but the gist is that something was expected of me and I had let myself and my instructors down. The latest was last night, and as a result I started to write a panicky email asking questions and questions and questions. I realized I already knew the answers I'd get and what I needed to do. The rest was irrelevant.

This lead me to reflect (yet again) on the events of the past year. And I came to another conclusion; although I have not followed the path I set myself on I have still managed to make much of the progress I was hoping for. I am stronger than I was in February. I'm happy to say that I've knocked off some pesky weight that I had been dragging around, both mentally and (hooray!) physically. I feel I've advanced in my own training, and although it quite often is the first to hit the back burner it also has spent more time in the front. The projects I set out to do have not been completed, but others that came up and needed attention have been successfully accomplished. I'm growing in my role as instructor and mentor, recognizing that mistakes are inevitable and criticism is what I make of it- I'll grow or I'll wither as I decide. Honest comments are more valuable to me than words that stroke my ego.

The last few weeks have been about a renewed effort. The end is nigh and again, it will be what I decide make of it. I am not the pristine example I had hoped I would be. I should have known by now that my wishful thinking is just that, wishful and wistful. I know I have moments when I shine and moments where I fail, that more often than not I am a walking frustration to those around me. But I live for what I believe in, I strive for what I value and I will make my way through this as I always have; clumsily, not as pretty, quickly or efficiently as one may hope but I'll get there.

I guess this is my "I'm feeling okay about this mess" post.

"If you don't know where you're going any road will get you there." -Cheshire Cat

Apple or Pumpkin?

After a long weekend absolutely full with family and food, I'm overflowing with things to be grateful for as I sit here at my computer. Reflecting on the year as I did in my last blog reminds me of all the turmoil as of late, however it also highlights how I am fortunate. How incredibly blessed I am to have such solid friendships in my life is not lost on me. The recent move towards vegetarianism highlights my ability to choose what I eat or when I eat. The ability to push a button and have the heat kick in or the freedom to express my opinions without fear of harm. All things that are easy to take for granted.

I always think that Chloe has no idea how close she was to becoming another homeless, scavenging stray. How lucky she was to be in the right place at the right time that allowed the two of us to come together, and how I had the ability to provide her with a warm, loving home. How lucky am I to be born when and where I was, allowing me the freedoms necessary to live in a secure environment, never mind adopt a dog.

With all the recent anxiety surrounding our economic situation, today is a good day to reflect and take in how fortunate we all really are. We can still afford our oversized trucks. We can still keep our pantry stocked. We can still afford the time to check our social media pages on our advanced mobile devices or our widescreen monitors and watch the latest Hollywood release on our 3D or 4k TV's. Yes, I'd say it's a good day to take stock of what is important and how much we all take for granted. Yes, this conversation came up this weekend. Ironic, isn't it.

Happy post thanksgiving everyone.

Banana's Suck

So, what has this years I Ho Chuan done for me? I've been thinking about this since it was mentioned Saturday and I'm not sure which way this post is going to go. It's a surprise for both of us!

I know Sifu Brinker sites 2009 as his worst year in general. Well, I'm siting 2016 as my worst year. 2016 sucks. 2016 can go away already. It started with a negative bang and has continued banging away since. Looking back on my posts I can see all the negativity hiding in there. Phooey on you 2016.

I can say the IHC has been most of my silver lining this year. Not that I've accomplished all that I set out to do, climbed figurative mountains or even foothills, but it has kept me going. You people have kept me going. Days where all I wanted was to crawl under a very large rock I instead dragged myself to class, and although I may not have been the most contributing member just being around a bunch a great people gave me something positive to focus on. Thanks for that.

It have given me perseverance. Something that I thought I understood before but really, I knew as much about it as I do about gravity. It exists.

It has given me courage to speak up when I know staying silent would be easier but detrimental.

It has given me confidence to make the right decisions and to stand by those decisions when the entire world is falling down around me, when everyone around me is blaming me and angry with me for those decisions.

It has given me insight into the actions of others, and the ability to see those actions for what they are instead of what they seem to be.

So I say thank you I Ho Chuan and I Ho Chuan teammates. I cannot site 2016 as a great year on any level, including my IHC, but it was a year for life lessons. Many of which I would have missed if not for the IHC and you folks.