This lead me to reflect (yet again) on the events of the past year. And I came to another conclusion; although I have not followed the path I set myself on I have still managed to make much of the progress I was hoping for. I am stronger than I was in February. I'm happy to say that I've knocked off some pesky weight that I had been dragging around, both mentally and (hooray!) physically. I feel I've advanced in my own training, and although it quite often is the first to hit the back burner it also has spent more time in the front. The projects I set out to do have not been completed, but others that came up and needed attention have been successfully accomplished. I'm growing in my role as instructor and mentor, recognizing that mistakes are inevitable and criticism is what I make of it- I'll grow or I'll wither as I decide. Honest comments are more valuable to me than words that stroke my ego.
The last few weeks have been about a renewed effort. The end is nigh and again, it will be what I decide make of it. I am not the pristine example I had hoped I would be. I should have known by now that my wishful thinking is just that, wishful and wistful. I know I have moments when I shine and moments where I fail, that more often than not I am a walking frustration to those around me. But I live for what I believe in, I strive for what I value and I will make my way through this as I always have; clumsily, not as pretty, quickly or efficiently as one may hope but I'll get there.
I guess this is my "I'm feeling okay about this mess" post.
"If you don't know where you're going any road will get you there." -Cheshire Cat
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