State of Being, Part III

Make no mistake, it is a lifestyle. To be a black belt in the martial arts takes more than keen interest or a long lived hobby. And this is the main reason most do not achieve the rank. It comes with a different perception and understanding. These go hand in hand with responsibility. Sadly, most people do not want added responsibility. 

“With great power comes great responsibility.” - Uncle Ben

There is much misconception with regards to individuals who hold the rank of black. Unfortunately, these misconceptions are perpetuated by the entertainment industry in the forms of movies and the MMA, which by definition is not a martial art, but a sport.

However, it is not untrue to say that individuals with a black belt are and should be held to a higher standard. The rank automatically gives an individual power. Not necessarily physically, but the power of influence. This is greater than might or wealth. We have the ability to shape our environment and those within it. Parents entrust us to instil the values of discipline and respect in their children. Our family entrust us to lead with our eyes wide open, using compassion and empathy. Our community trusts us not to use our skill and knowledge to hurt.

The black belt is something that many, many individuals desire without really thinking about what it means. It is more than just a landmark in a martial arts career. The change and weight it bestows on an individual is something you cannot prepare for, but must acknowledge and bear nonetheless.

It is for this reason that every new and existing black belt of Silent River Kung Fu must agree to and comply with a Code of Ethics, each and every year. Our voices echo our agreement just as our signatures bear witness. 

Silent River Kung Fu Code of Ethics

All Black Belts of Silent River Kung Fu must promise to:

• Hold paramount the well being of Silent River Kung Fu, their students, their art, their community, and its citizens.
• Set an example by approaching their art with passion, vigor, and vitality.
• Undertake and accept responsibility only for tasks in for which they are qualified and in which they believe.
• Uphold the principle of appropriate and adequate compensation for the performance of their skill.
• Act with integrity and honour while maintaining respect for all living beings.
• Maintain proficiency and competence in the art to advance their body of knowledge and skill.
• Conduct themselves with discipline and respect at all times while displaying a determination for truth and their own personal convictions.
• Give credit where it is due and accept, as well as give, honest and fair comment.
• Report to the Silent River Kung Fu Master Instructor any illegal or unethical conduct or practices by other members or others.
• Promote public knowledge and appreciation of the art of Kung Fu and protect
• Silent River Kung Fu from misrepresentation and misunderstanding.
•  Maintain an appreciation for their skill and loyalty to their mentors.
• Accept responsibility for their actions and mistakes, learn from the past, and prepare for the future.

State of Being, Part II

There is a significant difference between earning a black belt and being a black belt. An individual can earn the rank, but no longer be one. Not that the rank is stripped, however can you call yourself a weightlifter if you quit lifting weights? No. You would say you were a weight lifter. Doesn’t change the fact that you did earn the rank, but living and maintaining it is not a given.

There is a difference in your state of being when you’re living the rank. You can’t live the lifestyle without a degree of connectivity to your surroundings. You empathize with your world, the people and the earth. You have to. Kung Fu is all about connection to the ground and understanding your opponent. But that does not stay on the mats; you take it with you everywhere. You understand your impact on the people you interact with and the earth you walk on. Or simply put, you understand that you have an impact.

You live in a state of readiness. Not that you’re expecting an attack at any moment, however you strive to always be fully engaged with your surroundings. This is not a perpetual tension, but engagement. Just as you throw a punch or kick, you cannot do these things if you are perpetually tense. Or, more accurately, you cannot do these things efficiently and effectively if you are perpetually tense. You need to be relaxed in order to react quickly, to fire your muscles as needed. However, you are always engaged, therefore have the ability to react. Aware. Engagement without tension. In your body in and in your mind. 

Where am I? What am I doing?

Therefore you strive to live with peace. You cannot live without being tense when living with strain, stress and anxiety. Your mental state affects everything and everyone in your life. It affects your training, your ability to learn, to teach and to practice. Practicing peace is practicing Kung Fu. 

State of Being, Part I

It has been mentioned that an individual goes through significant changes throughout different times in their Kung Fu career, the most significant being at the rank of black. What is this change? 

Simple. An individual goes from wanting a black belt to being a black belt . 

This is a shift in perception. What is a black belt? A piece of cloth sewn together. Or an individual who lives their lives differently than the norm. Same question, different perception regarding the answer.

So what is it about being a black belt? It’s not about possession. Sure, the belt that I received during my promotion holds some amount of sentimental value; it signifies the journey I made, the blood, sweat and tears I shed, so to speak. If that belt were lost then I would no longer have a black belt. However, if that belt were to be lost to me that would not change the fact that I am a black belt. 

What if I were to ask you what is a black belt? Your answer may be something along the lines of the rank I’m striving for. The answer should be who I want to be. In time, hopefully the answer becomes who I am. 

Now I ask you, do you want to be a black belt? Define for yourself the qualities you value in black belts. Make a list. Physical abilities? Sure, but you’re limiting yourself greatly. Think internal virtues. 

Then, start living with those qualities yourself. 

Today’s Advent Tea- Energy Tea, Hol Der Schwung! (Hyssop, Spearmint, Fennel, Rosehip, Camomile)

So today was going to be another typical day with the kids. However, Carter was insisting that he would not be in this house any longer so thankfully, my mom agreed to feed us breakfast at a moments notice. I packed the kids and the dogs up as fast as I could (not fast enough for Carter) and off we went. 

I’m home now, childless and less one dog. They were happy at the grandparents and my mom knowingly agreed when I sheepishly asked if she would keep them for the day. 

Normally I’d take advantage and catch up on everything I’ve neglected, including washing floors, finishing the dishes I abandoned in the sink this morning, laundry, steam clean the carpet where Carter kept throwing his milk (thought it was a game for some reason...) etc. 

Nope. Not today. This morning I noticed that I had missed the 800 pushups for Master McNeil’s birthday and I was so upset with myself. I didn’t get onto Kwoon Talk at all yesterday. I missed so much! 

Today, I catch up on everything I missed. I blog, which has been more neglected than the dishes. I complete the 800 pushups promised (even if I’m all by myself) and I take the day for me, work on my neglected Kung Fu and my neglected soul.

Oh, and I have 200 more downward foot blocks to do and a tea to drink.

18 Is the New 42

During a recent meeting the “18 things needed for black belt” were brought up. I don’t exactly remember the context but I do remember it was in relation to memorizing and preparing.

Do I feel like I know and understand these 18 things? Yes, to an extent of course. I’m still striving to do and be better at Kung Fu so I know I could understand and execute them better. Can I list them for you? No. And nor would I if I could.

When talking about these 18 things, take away the notion of an organized, defined list. Lists infer to do, to check something off and to move on. Linear thinking. There is nothing in Kung Fu that can ever be checked off; there are no lists. Only pins, with more pins added daily. What you strive to do is connect the pins in a multitude of ways. The more connections, the more understanding and the more you can see the connections you are missing. Like neurons in a brain; we’re striving to build a network, bridges between ideas and concepts in order to increase our capacity to learn and understand. 

Those 18 things are the bridges. They are concepts that increase our understanding of the art we are training in. Think about the concept of center; first, you need to understand what we mean when we say center. You need to feel it and experience it for yourself. Then you can start applying it to what you already know and carry it forward into what you will be learning. You can increase power and efficiency. After a while, you learn how you can manipulate it for your advantage, raising and lowering your own to accomplish specific tasks like lifting or throwing. Then you see that you can apply all this knowledge to your opponent; what is true for you is true for them. You can disrupt their center, you can manipulate them to raise or lower it as you desire. Take their power away or take away their grounding. 

That’s a small part of one concept. Tell me, how many bridges can you see? 

There is no memorization, only incremental increases in understanding and ability to utilize our understanding. Kung Fu and those 18 things is about experiencing and learning. There are no lists.

Is Your Face Ethical?

This week wasn’t much different than all previous weeks. I have a routine when it comes to getting ready to leave the house; hair, face, teeth, clothes. Brush my hair, makeup, brush my teeth, put on real (non jammies) clothes.

Wednesday, as I was about to walk out the house, I did one last once over in the mirror. I came to a realization; I was probably 80% ethical/sustainable. That, in my opinion, is an accomplishment. My shirt, socks and pants were sourced ethically and helped to plant trees. My makeup was all vegan, ethically sourced and was contained by bamboo or glass only. My toothbrush was bamboo (I have toothpaste tablets in glass, but I’m using up the old plastic tube first). My hair was brushed out with a bamboo brush. Even my sunglasses, before I dropped and broke them anyways, are decomposable. How cool is that?!?

Recently I have felt like I’ve hit a plateau in my efforts to declutter, clear out the plastic and source daily goods ethically. I know I have a ways to go, specifically converting over things that directly affect my husband (he tried the bamboo toothbrush, went back to his electric plastic one). But man, in that moment I saw exactly how different we are living now. Cloth napkins instead of paper towel (working on my parents conversion now). Bamboo or wheat dishes for the kids instead of the plastic character ones I see everywhere. Water bottles instead of bottled water, reusable metal straws instead of plastic disposable, beautiful wooden toys for my kids instead of the mass produced plastic garbage. 

I feel good. About my lifestyle, my beliefs, and my mark on the world. Even if my name is never whispered again after I die, I know I have and will leave a mark.

This Is What Happens When You Think You Don’t Have Much to Write About but Dang It I’m Going to Sit Down and Do It Anyways

There have been quite a few moments lately that I find myself hitting a threshold, flirting with losing my temper or wanting to just throw my hands up and walk away. If I’m honest, I’ve more than flirted. There are stressors in anyone’s life. There have always been stressors in my own life, but I’m usually pretty logical and level headed when it comes to dealing with them. I experience the initial shock or knee jerk reaction, but then I can slow myself down and proceed with less heat and more thought.

I think it has to do with the added pressure of being responsible for two tiny humans. Now a days everyone seems to have an opinion on how to parent, when to parent, why to parent. The previous generation did it wrong, the previous generation did it right. This new generation is so much more educated. This new generation is ruining their kids. You read too much, you should trust instinct. You should read this book, it explains everything. 

Things were getting pretty bad, I’ll admit. I had never experienced waking up that mad. And honestly, I knew going to bed why I was mad, but waking up the next day it wouldn’t matter why, it just was. Mad at the husband, mad at the cat, mad at the dog, mad at the husband, mad at the kitchen counter, mad at the husband. Did I mention the husband?

I’ll stop you right there. I had reasons. Logical, all too real reasons. But my reactions were becoming non productive and self sabotaging. I see that now; I was so focused on not ruining my kids that I didn’t see that I was ruining my kids with my mood. No wonder they’d run to daddy first. Then I’d get upset. Then they’d run faster. Then I’d cry.

As I said, I’m usually fairly good at proceeding logically. It just took a lot longer this time. 

What changed? Not the stressors. We’re talking about tackling potty training, so hey, lets just add to the stress pile. Sounds fun. 

I changed my mind, that’s what happened. I decided I didn’t want to be mad, and I let it go ❄️. (Sorry, couldn’t help myself).

I listened to the wisdom of others around me and I thought about what I have and what I should be grateful for. And I saw how my emotions were tainting everything I had, reflecting back at me. I became grateful for those around me, for their efforts and concern instead of resentful. 

I noticed the age of my dog and immediately hated myself for being mad and so impatient with her. 

Then I quit doing damage. And I petted my dog.

Time

I used to think there wasn’t enough time in the day. Not to say I was wrong; the way I was going about my days I was absolutely right, I did not have enough time. 

But the thing is, I have never had enough time. I’ve had long hour jobs. I took over the Onoway school. Then I ran the Onoway school while living an hour away and attending full time university. And now I have kids. But you know what? So what? It’s not like time is being stripped away from me.

So when do I fit in Kung Fu? 

Saturday afternoon found me picking rosehips in the bush across the road from my home. Something I haven’t “had the time” for in years. While I was picking them I made sure to never strip a bush completely. Remember, those rosehips were grown by that bush for a very specific reason, and so I could take them is not the reason. That plant invested a massive amount of energy into creating the flowers, attracting the bees, growing thorns to keep critters like myself away and then finally creating a beautiful fruit whose purpose is to perpetuate the life of the plant. 

I was also mindful of any other critters around, be it a spider who made a home between two hips or the caterpillar I saw on a branch. I could have just knocked them away and taken the fruit, but why? There are plenty. Their home and security is worth more than that specific rosehip is worth to me. 

I made sure to use a colander to collect the fruit and then let them sit for a bit outside. Just to give any critters I missed a chance to get out before I gave them an unwanted bath. 

Last, I made sure to make enough jelly to provide for my family as well as to share. People need to share their resources and skills more without expecting compensation. In my mind, anyways.

So when do I fit in Kung Fu?

Seems to me that entire process was a chance to practice my Kung Fu. The art of Kung Fu is ninety percent mental, is it not? 

As for time, we have enough. We just have to be honest in how we spend our time and honest in our priorities. If we’re clear about it, then we have the time for it.

Evolution

There has been a lot of chatter regarding the upcoming black belt grading, which naturally lead me to start thinking about my own grading and the events leading up to it. I can’t say I remember much about the actual grading. Counting the letters on the sign in front of me while holding the flexed arm hang. My legs shaking uncontrollably during the horse stance. Sifu Olsvik hitting the mats with a massive charley horse. 

What I do remember vividly is my preparation in the months leading up. The I Ho Chuan did not exist, therefore I had to find my own stepping stones. I knew I needed to condition my body, therefore I did 150 push ups, sit ups and leg lifts nightly. I remember doing them on my bedroom floor, using my little pink throw rug as a mat while my tiny tube tv played Dawson’s Creek or The X-Files. 

I did not know my grading mates, other than Sifu Olsvik. He and I worked months on our techniques, refining and changing them completely on occasion. 

I ran frequently (I had heard nightmares about the 2k run). I studied the theory, memorized the Code of Ethics, read and reread Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (that took me the full year, I suggest getting on that asap). 

Most importantly, I made sure I was informed on all expectations, deadlines and requirements. Oh, and I made sure I was significantly early (definitely didn’t want to be excluded due to a late assignment or a train crossing on the day of). Sixteen year old me had to become responsible and decide how I wanted to define myself. 

Of course things are different today. The process has evolved, and as a result every new crop of black belts seems to get better and better. 

Moral of the story- the I Ho Chuan is everything you need to do for grading prep all wrapped up in a neat little package. Sifu Brinker did all the figuring out for you, all you need to do is just follow the instructions. 

Me? I had to first determine what I was lacking and what I needed to do about it and then figure out how to do it. You? The how to do it is already defined for you. What you should be doing is defining the why behind each how. 

Mud & Oysters

Although classes have changed and we are unable to approach our training the same way we have in the past, I'm seeing opportunity amongst the hardships. Just because things had to change does not mean the changes cannot be great. And I'm seeing people embrace these changes, as well as people who are stagnating, waiting for things to change back. 

 The biggest changes that catch my eye have occured with the parents. Since we are not able to be hands on, most of you know we've had to enlist the help of the parents in the Lil' Leopards. And I love it. The majority of the parents are right in there like a pig in mud, and you can see how much the kids are loving it. This engagement has me estatic. 

 Anyone who has read the articles I wrote a while back will know that I wholeheartedly believe that this is the key to the kingdom for a child. A parents engagement (or lack thereof) can rewrite a childs' future.

I tested this out recently in the Black Dragons classes. I was a little nervous going in, unsure how the parents would respond to the class or the notion. And I was thrilled at the results. Most of the parents were throwing their first kicks with more enthusiasm than I've seen in a while. And when it came to using the pool noodles... There definitely wasn't a bored face in the room. 

 So there it is. One of the silver linings I've found. Anyone who is feeling that this pandemic nothing but a hardship and you cannot thrive I challenge you to change your attitude. A hardship can become a blessing if you change your perspective. If you can't see opportunity then I urge you to create one. All it takes is a change in attitude and the world is your oyster.

Idiocy

Apologies to my teammates and instructors. I know I’ve been mia lately. And that’s inexcusable.

I’ll be honest, at the moment my training is not the priority. It is a priority, but other priorities have knocked it down on the list. My lack of numbers and blogs can attest to that.

So where am I? I want to let you all know so that no one thinks I’ve quit. I’m currently in the middle of sleep training Sydney. Once she’s handled I’ll have my hands full with training Carter. I won’t bore you with details, but sufficed to say that a series of unfortunate events and poor choices has led us to where we are and all I can do is handle it before things get worse. So, I bit the bullet and here we are.

Of course, this does not account for the lack of accountability prior to the training. That’s just on me. Some of my requirements are on track, mostly my personal ones, where the rest are very much not. I’ve written this before; when I stop to analyze where I am I can see that the requirements that I’m doing okay at are the ones I’ve set for others. I’m moving ahead with reducing plastic & waste in my home. I’m (slowly) planning how to get recycling into my community. I’ve buckled down and made appointments for myself- I have a dentist appointment next week, actually.

I see that last one not so much for me, but my kids. I want them to value themselves, and therefore I have to set the example. I remember once Sifu Brinker, in reference to kids, saying to me that first you have to get them to do it for you. Then you get them to do it for themselves. Makes so much sense. So why do I not take care of myself unless I have to?

It’s hard to shake that mentality, that time for me is wasteful, or worse yet, selfish. Logically I know this to be wrong. And yet that is exactly where my brain goes when I think about calling for that chiropractor appointment, allergist appointment, dentist appointment. I need to look at it at a different angle, change my perspective, but I’m not sure how to smarten myself up.

May we all close the gap between what we believe and how we act in the world.
-Timber Hawkeye

Just Dandy

I love to try new recipes, and for some reason I always choose to try them when there is an occasion. For my kids’ birthday I decided to bake dandelion cookies. They’re cookies and there’s an abundance of of the main ingredient a few steps from my door, why wouldn’t I?

According to Nick, they’re amazing. Perfect amount of softness with a bit of caramelized crunch on the outside. It was fun watching my mom pick one up and proceed to try to pick the “hair” out of it. They’re fibrous, due to the petals. And they’re nummy. Mind you, its hard to find a bad cookie recipe.

This act of baking with ingredients in my own yard always brings me joy. When I get to harvest all the offerings nature gives, make something delicious and then I get to share it with those around me. There’s few acts that make me feel so peaceful. I feel more in touch with my surroundings.

However, this time of year always comes with its discord. How can people hold such animosity towards a plant? A plant, just doing plant things. In fact, these pretty guys do more good than most humans and definitely less harm. So why the mad panic to Kill! Kill! Kill! That’s right, because they’ve been deemed “undesirable”. By who, I don’t really know.

Have you ever noticed that the weeds in one region equals flowers in another? You think if the dandelion wasn’t in such abundance here it would still be treated like the enemy of civilization?

So Now What

I am definitely one who can slide into a mediocre existence without realizing it. I don’t actively make the choice, although on some levels yes I do.

With the changes in routine and the unrelenting needs of twins I feel like there is less time in the days now and next to no time at night. I feel perpetual stress over getting things done and feel like I am perpetually spinning my wheels. Or, alternately, I’ll make the time to get something done, a project completed or a room cleaned or the lawn raked, and then feel guilt over the time I am not with the twins.

And that’s the thing. Everything is now a two man job. One to take care of the kids, the other to accomplish whatever task is at hand. Which means I cannot accomplish anything without 1. Taking up someone else’s time, and 2. Not being with my kids.

Add to that lack of sleep. Not all the babies fault at all. Yes, Carter still gets terrors and Sydney gets nightmares. But after they are in bed is when I feel the most pressure to accomplish, since then it is just my time and I don’t have to ask anyone else for theirs. Which means my nights are full steam until usually 11:30 or midnight. Then unwind and try to sleep, which also sucks because of my back, hip, shoulder. So, I’m tossing and turning until either I have to get up and move around to get rid of the aches, a kid wakes up screaming or morning arrives, usually at 6am.

Whatever reps I manage are not getting documented. Which adds to the stress as it now feels like squandered energy. I can’t afford to waste time or energy. But I do, daily.

I am not living in the moment.

I’m not sure what the point of this is. Vent, whine, make excuses. Not sure, but at least I better understand my stressors. I didn’t even know I was stressed...

It’s Earth Day!

I imagine everyone has a lot on their minds given our current world situation. An uncertain future makes even the most secure individual uneasy, and no one can predict what the world will look like once this pandemic is over. But we can be hopeful.

An unexpected result that I’ve observed is conservation. People around our lake are being more careful with their water because it has to be hauled in, creating possible risk. People are being smarter with their food, wasting less and cooking more. People are turning to baking, creating, reusing and refurbishing. We’re making smarter financial decisions, being less frivolous with our money.

I can hope that some of these habits will remain in place after the crisis is over. I think if we reflected enough, we’d see some valuable lessons; even in peaceful and secure times the future is uncertain. However we can stack the odds with a little foresight; understand, acknowledge and accept the fact that our world is directly impacted by our decisions and then base our decisions not on what we want today, but what we want for a future.

Happy 50th Earth Day everyone. Let’s show our home a little extra love today.

Kung Fu Saved My Son

I’m not exaggerating.

Normally I’m so careful, paranoid. I’ve had nightmares about it. But it’s 4am, he’s having his third night terror and I’ve hardly slept. I missed the top step. And I’m carrying Carter.

This was two nights ago and it still fills my thoughts. Unfortunately, instinct caused me to throw my arms wide trying to catch myself. I can still see so vividly his fragile body completely airborne and free falling towards the stairs. I’m crying thinking about it.

Thankfully I reacted fast enough. I reached out and pulled him tight to my chest before either of us hit. He’s perfectly fine. Me, I ache down the entire right side of my body where I took the full impact. I’m bruised and I’m sore. But I am so happy. He’s fine.

I don’t write this for sympathy. I write this because I never want to see another student walk away or another parent pull their child. You don’t know what Kung Fu can do for you until it does.

And I am grateful. Thank you to every student who ever gave me the chance to deepen my understanding, to every classmate who threw a thousand punches at me, allowing me to develop the art, quicken my reflexes and sharpen my mind. Thank you to Sifu Brinker, my mentor, for dedicating yourself to us and this school, and for every opportunity and the abundance of guidance.

Thank you to my mom, who never had “quit” in her vocabulary.

Connect

Today I find myself sprawled on my living room floor, iPad open, staring out my patio door contemplating the meaning of together and struggling to articulate my thoughts. Now that I have the stage set for you, I’ll get on with it.

Now more than ever we need to come together as a community. Which seems oxymoronic, since all news and headlines across the world are begging people to stay away, self isolate, practice social distancing. However, we cannot equate physical distance or barriers to whether we are together or not. We can’t, otherwise we are alone when we need each other the most.

Coming together as a community does not require us to be in the same room or province or country. It simply requires us to connect, and thankfully we have technology today to allow just that, even during this pandemic that is trying to tear us apart. As much as I prefer to minimize screen time, what I do with my time in front of a screen changes the dynamic.

I struggle to write something that portrays the importance of our engagement in our training. Expanding this, I’m trying to portray the importance of our engagement in our communities, through our training and through other avenues.

Today I FaceTimed with my mom. Sydney almost cried, seeing her but unable to reach her. Despite the distance I felt close to my mom and moved by my daughter. The emotions were real. The experience was real.

Take advantage of everything this place has to offer. Every time someone doesn’t engage, misses a class or leaves the school, each time it is a connection lost. And we all need more connection, not less.

Honey Delivery

Well, this is a new feeling, isn’t it? With Nick home this last week and no classes every day has felt like Sunday. He’s returning to work tomorrow and I’m feeling a lot of anxiety. Chances are he’ll be back home at the end of the week as most of their jobs are shut down but in the meantime...

Regardless, I am looking to make the most of the situation. Yesterday I made a house call to one of my neighbours, delivering honey and offering my grocery delivery services. I just returned from the doorstep of another neighbour with the same offer; this particular neighbour is already of poor health and I’ve been doing what I can for him for years. He’s a bachelor living alone with severe health problems. Myself, being able bodied, I feel that I need to take responsibility for him. Just the look of relief on his face when I offered made me smile. We can choose to pull together or tear each other apart. I choose the former.

Plateau

I’ve been trying to jot down blog topics as they occur to me, however it seems that when I get back to them and want to write something the moment is gone and the topics, although I remember them, have lost their clarity for me. So several failed attempts there.

I’m in a rut with most of my requirements. I feel like I’ve hit a plateau regarding my personal ones specifically. I’ve made several substantial changes while striving for zero waste; a few examples being changing where and how I shop, using unpackaged soaps and shampoos, and using a safety razor (not for the faint of heart). Biggest by far is adopting the minimalistic lifestyle. Although I am miles away from my ideal, I can proudly say my wardrobe has been reduced to an approximately three foot section in our closet. I’ve let go of over half of my kitchen ware. I even carved down my stockpile of blankets (now you know, I have a thing for blankets).

Despite this, progress feels like its ground to a halt. I struggle to convey my desire to my husband and family, and although they are all supportive, if you don’t understand you won’t think twice about purchases and the like.

On a good note, Nick has been selling some of his tools on Kijiji. I never thought he’d part with anything, but he said my purging rubbed off on him. So yay. At least I know I made an impression on one person.

Regardless, I look around my home and still see a mass of plastic. I look in my pantry and see packages next to glass jars. I look at my recycle bins, full and overflowing. I look at my garbage- never empty.

I have to say, this society does not make doing the right thing easy. If you say “no straw please” you get odd looks. Try to buy a cucumber without packaging. Try to convince others that less is more and empty space in your home is what you desire.

On Kung Fu and Ogres

With all the changes to the syllabus and the outlining of the curriculum I have been fortunate to be able to listen to discussions and read blog posts regarding learning and teaching. From everything I’ve seen, by far the coolest thing about Kung Fu is that you never arrive. And what I finally realized is that teaching is just as layered and just as cool as learning.

Obviously you can always get better at something which means there is always something new to learn. But the depth of insight it takes to be a truly great teacher is awe inspiring. I remember the first class I taught in Onoway solo. I was shaking in my boots. I remember the technique I covered; spinning back fist. This was solely because I felt adequate with the technique and didn’t want to make a fool of myself. Then, after years of teaching, I finally felt comfortable in the role and forged ahead as I saw fit, not just as I felt I could.

I realize now how damaging my approach may have been to the students. What I taught depended on what I hadn’t covered recently and how I taught didn’t change from class to class. I had little to no empathy for what my students really needed besides what holes where present in their knowledge. I thought that was all there was.

I now know to look deeper. Sometimes a nudge is all that’s needed. Sometimes a discussion is required. Sometimes the best instruction is no instruction.

There are so many layers to teaching. What knowledge do I have that they need is such a small part. Compassion for a student is so much more valuable than knowledge. For a few years now I ask myself why? Why are they doing what they’re doing or moving the way they’re moving? Quite often I cannot answer the question for myself. I see it, I don’t understand it. I am glad I have the confidence to approach someone with more experience than myself, for every time I do I learn and I become a little better for it.

Together

Last night during the 2nd degree brown belt class I was listening to the lesson Sifu Brinker was giving. I was not participating in the class but I always had an ear on what was going on. He mentioned to the two guys there that every one of us with a black belt around our waists had gone through and passed the fitness test, and that none of us had done it alone. So true.

I can only vaguely remember the events leading to my grading and I remember even less of the day. But I very clearly remember the day my Sifu Freitag came up to me and gave me the push I needed to make it my goal. I remember working with my good friend and grading mate Sifu Olsvik on our 5 techniques and our forms. I remember being motivated and encouraged by Sifu’s Kim & Kylee Hayes when I just wanted to quit during the test.

Point is, no one gets through their grading day or grading year alone. There are countless others who, in some form or another, help you through the process. This is not a weakness; on the contrary, it is what makes us strong enough to be successful. During the year there is a whole team of people who, although not grading themselves, are rooting for you and willing to help in any way they can. On the day there is a room full of people there only for you, with no other agenda and no reward for themselves except seeing you succeed.

This is how it is every day from the moment you walk in and sign up to the moment, well, indefinitely (I haven’t found the end yet). It’s rare to find a place where everyone is on your side, a community where we all pull in the same direction and for each other.

I also remember laying on the floor in by bedroom every night and completing 150 push-ups, 150 sit-ups and 150 leg lifts before bed. This was the hardest part for me, finding the motivation to lie down on the cold floor instead of crawling into my warm bed. Hard because I was alone in my task. This was before the I Ho Chuan and the knowledge that there is a whole team of people doing the same thing with me. Take advantage of the strength of the team and make sure we’re all moving forward together. Then things become clear, simple, and (perish the thought!) maybe even fun.

Reflection

I know that I have never been the best at blogging or journaling. During the meeting yesterday I was listening to people talking about blogging and the benefits, and although I have never managed a year without missing a blog I can’t deny the benefits, even of my limited engagement. Several times this last month I would think about blogging. I knew what I wanted to write about but I never took the time to sit down and do it. And now I don’t know what I wanted to say and that is a loss. Part of my journey is now gone and I won’t be able to get it back, share it or reflect on it when I get stuck.

Every day is a new opportunity.