WHAT is your favourite colour? Blue! No, wait...

I’m guilty. When it comes to asking questions, it is always best to explore for yourself first, try to answer your own question using the knowledge you already have. If you do, the lesson will be yours on a much deeper level. However, I know that I’m guilty myself of skipping this step and just blurting out a question when it occurs to me. Then, when I receive an answer I have a “d’oh” moment. I knew that. Or at least I had the pieces that would have lead me to that.

It makes me feel like I threw away my chance at a lightbulb.

I’m working on it. I have a tendency of speaking before thinking, or thinking down the wrong road and asking the wrong question. I recognize when this occurs, which unfortunately is 95% of the questions I ask. 

Bring forward the knowledge I already have. This is number one. I know there are concepts that are universal, no matter what I am doing. Don’t sacrifice your center. Equal and opposite. Harmony across the body, top to bottom, left to right, corner to corner. Things of that nature.

I know I need to define my intent, and then support that intent. What does my left hand do? It supports the mission statement of my right hand. What does that look like? I dunno, refer to statement one- harmonies left to right. Push and pull. 

What I feel trumps what I think. So quit over analyzing and just do. Did that feel right? No. Tweak, did that feel right? Nope, worse. Tweak. Hey, that felt good! What did I do? 

Power trumps strength. When I feel fatigue in my shoulders or neck I know I’ve reverted to Caveman Khona. Caveman Khona gets tired fast. And grumpy. I don’t like Caveman Khona. I’d rather learn to use the earth than do pushups until my muscles squeak against each other. Besides, all that muscle would make it hard to fit in my kids’ couch fort.

It all sounds simple enough, but it’s so easy to brush off my own ability and rely on someone else to give me a quick and easy answer. But as we all know, the easy way isn’t usually the best way.

I Want Doughnut and Christmas Dinosaur Jammies Too...

I have the upmost respect for all you parents out there. How you managed to raise your kids without everyone involved losing their minds or a limb, I’m amazed. 

I know we all have our own struggles and obstacles in our lives. We’re all on different paths and at different points. But I keep learning and relearning one thing- there is more to the phrase “out of the kwoon and into the world” than any of us give it credit for. Listening to the questions and the comments on Wuxin this past week got me digging deeper and ultimately lead me to an epiphany of sorts.

Wuxin when dealing with my kids. I need to train more to help fix my parenting problems.

It is impossible to be fully objective and to take away emotion when dealing with my kids. We’re mirrors of each other; Sydney gets mad, I get mad. I get frustrated, Carter is frustrated. Someone gets hurt, my heart hurts for them.

What I need is the ability to recognize these emotions for what they are and empathize with them, not react to my own. Why is Carter so mad? Because he wants something that I won’t give him and he’s frustrated that he’s powerless. He’s a toddler who has not yet learned to temper his emotions with reason. He’s a big ball of reaction. 

As I said, we’re mirrors. 

The more I train the more in tune with my body, my ability and my energy I become. I recognize more faster. I gain control of myself, I see more clearly, I’m more cognizant.

The more I train the calmer and more confident I become. 

The better I empathize.

Tantrums are inevitable, but I have the ability to stop throwing gas on the fire. Easier said than done? Heck yes. But, as with Kung Fu, practice makes progress. And that’s all we’re striving for, isn’t it?

Oh, and well rounded, capable, confident, self-loving and self sustaining children. 

Seriously, how do you keep your sanity?

State of Being, Part III

Make no mistake, it is a lifestyle. To be a black belt in the martial arts takes more than keen interest or a long lived hobby. And this is the main reason most do not achieve the rank. It comes with a different perception and understanding. These go hand in hand with responsibility. Sadly, most people do not want added responsibility. 

“With great power comes great responsibility.” - Uncle Ben

There is much misconception with regards to individuals who hold the rank of black. Unfortunately, these misconceptions are perpetuated by the entertainment industry in the forms of movies and the MMA, which by definition is not a martial art, but a sport.

However, it is not untrue to say that individuals with a black belt are and should be held to a higher standard. The rank automatically gives an individual power. Not necessarily physically, but the power of influence. This is greater than might or wealth. We have the ability to shape our environment and those within it. Parents entrust us to instil the values of discipline and respect in their children. Our family entrust us to lead with our eyes wide open, using compassion and empathy. Our community trusts us not to use our skill and knowledge to hurt.

The black belt is something that many, many individuals desire without really thinking about what it means. It is more than just a landmark in a martial arts career. The change and weight it bestows on an individual is something you cannot prepare for, but must acknowledge and bear nonetheless.

It is for this reason that every new and existing black belt of Silent River Kung Fu must agree to and comply with a Code of Ethics, each and every year. Our voices echo our agreement just as our signatures bear witness. 

Silent River Kung Fu Code of Ethics

All Black Belts of Silent River Kung Fu must promise to:

• Hold paramount the well being of Silent River Kung Fu, their students, their art, their community, and its citizens.
• Set an example by approaching their art with passion, vigor, and vitality.
• Undertake and accept responsibility only for tasks in for which they are qualified and in which they believe.
• Uphold the principle of appropriate and adequate compensation for the performance of their skill.
• Act with integrity and honour while maintaining respect for all living beings.
• Maintain proficiency and competence in the art to advance their body of knowledge and skill.
• Conduct themselves with discipline and respect at all times while displaying a determination for truth and their own personal convictions.
• Give credit where it is due and accept, as well as give, honest and fair comment.
• Report to the Silent River Kung Fu Master Instructor any illegal or unethical conduct or practices by other members or others.
• Promote public knowledge and appreciation of the art of Kung Fu and protect
• Silent River Kung Fu from misrepresentation and misunderstanding.
•  Maintain an appreciation for their skill and loyalty to their mentors.
• Accept responsibility for their actions and mistakes, learn from the past, and prepare for the future.

State of Being, Part II

There is a significant difference between earning a black belt and being a black belt. An individual can earn the rank, but no longer be one. Not that the rank is stripped, however can you call yourself a weightlifter if you quit lifting weights? No. You would say you were a weight lifter. Doesn’t change the fact that you did earn the rank, but living and maintaining it is not a given.

There is a difference in your state of being when you’re living the rank. You can’t live the lifestyle without a degree of connectivity to your surroundings. You empathize with your world, the people and the earth. You have to. Kung Fu is all about connection to the ground and understanding your opponent. But that does not stay on the mats; you take it with you everywhere. You understand your impact on the people you interact with and the earth you walk on. Or simply put, you understand that you have an impact.

You live in a state of readiness. Not that you’re expecting an attack at any moment, however you strive to always be fully engaged with your surroundings. This is not a perpetual tension, but engagement. Just as you throw a punch or kick, you cannot do these things if you are perpetually tense. Or, more accurately, you cannot do these things efficiently and effectively if you are perpetually tense. You need to be relaxed in order to react quickly, to fire your muscles as needed. However, you are always engaged, therefore have the ability to react. Aware. Engagement without tension. In your body in and in your mind. 

Where am I? What am I doing?

Therefore you strive to live with peace. You cannot live without being tense when living with strain, stress and anxiety. Your mental state affects everything and everyone in your life. It affects your training, your ability to learn, to teach and to practice. Practicing peace is practicing Kung Fu. 

State of Being, Part I

It has been mentioned that an individual goes through significant changes throughout different times in their Kung Fu career, the most significant being at the rank of black. What is this change? 

Simple. An individual goes from wanting a black belt to being a black belt . 

This is a shift in perception. What is a black belt? A piece of cloth sewn together. Or an individual who lives their lives differently than the norm. Same question, different perception regarding the answer.

So what is it about being a black belt? It’s not about possession. Sure, the belt that I received during my promotion holds some amount of sentimental value; it signifies the journey I made, the blood, sweat and tears I shed, so to speak. If that belt were lost then I would no longer have a black belt. However, if that belt were to be lost to me that would not change the fact that I am a black belt. 

What if I were to ask you what is a black belt? Your answer may be something along the lines of the rank I’m striving for. The answer should be who I want to be. In time, hopefully the answer becomes who I am. 

Now I ask you, do you want to be a black belt? Define for yourself the qualities you value in black belts. Make a list. Physical abilities? Sure, but you’re limiting yourself greatly. Think internal virtues. 

Then, start living with those qualities yourself. 

Today’s Advent Tea- Energy Tea, Hol Der Schwung! (Hyssop, Spearmint, Fennel, Rosehip, Camomile)

So today was going to be another typical day with the kids. However, Carter was insisting that he would not be in this house any longer so thankfully, my mom agreed to feed us breakfast at a moments notice. I packed the kids and the dogs up as fast as I could (not fast enough for Carter) and off we went. 

I’m home now, childless and less one dog. They were happy at the grandparents and my mom knowingly agreed when I sheepishly asked if she would keep them for the day. 

Normally I’d take advantage and catch up on everything I’ve neglected, including washing floors, finishing the dishes I abandoned in the sink this morning, laundry, steam clean the carpet where Carter kept throwing his milk (thought it was a game for some reason...) etc. 

Nope. Not today. This morning I noticed that I had missed the 800 pushups for Master McNeil’s birthday and I was so upset with myself. I didn’t get onto Kwoon Talk at all yesterday. I missed so much! 

Today, I catch up on everything I missed. I blog, which has been more neglected than the dishes. I complete the 800 pushups promised (even if I’m all by myself) and I take the day for me, work on my neglected Kung Fu and my neglected soul.

Oh, and I have 200 more downward foot blocks to do and a tea to drink.

18 Is the New 42

During a recent meeting the “18 things needed for black belt” were brought up. I don’t exactly remember the context but I do remember it was in relation to memorizing and preparing.

Do I feel like I know and understand these 18 things? Yes, to an extent of course. I’m still striving to do and be better at Kung Fu so I know I could understand and execute them better. Can I list them for you? No. And nor would I if I could.

When talking about these 18 things, take away the notion of an organized, defined list. Lists infer to do, to check something off and to move on. Linear thinking. There is nothing in Kung Fu that can ever be checked off; there are no lists. Only pins, with more pins added daily. What you strive to do is connect the pins in a multitude of ways. The more connections, the more understanding and the more you can see the connections you are missing. Like neurons in a brain; we’re striving to build a network, bridges between ideas and concepts in order to increase our capacity to learn and understand. 

Those 18 things are the bridges. They are concepts that increase our understanding of the art we are training in. Think about the concept of center; first, you need to understand what we mean when we say center. You need to feel it and experience it for yourself. Then you can start applying it to what you already know and carry it forward into what you will be learning. You can increase power and efficiency. After a while, you learn how you can manipulate it for your advantage, raising and lowering your own to accomplish specific tasks like lifting or throwing. Then you see that you can apply all this knowledge to your opponent; what is true for you is true for them. You can disrupt their center, you can manipulate them to raise or lower it as you desire. Take their power away or take away their grounding. 

That’s a small part of one concept. Tell me, how many bridges can you see? 

There is no memorization, only incremental increases in understanding and ability to utilize our understanding. Kung Fu and those 18 things is about experiencing and learning. There are no lists.